


Call it True

by liusaidh_writing



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Slow Burn, rom com
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29044830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liusaidh_writing/pseuds/liusaidh_writing
Summary: Claire is in love with her neighbor, the handsome Scot upstairs, whom she has never met. She is almost certain it would never happen. Is she wrong? Modern AU, a little bit of comedy and a little bit of romance.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser
Comments: 105
Kudos: 220





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *So, I'm re-posting this again, after fixing the glaring error in the story. I apologize to all previous readers, and hope this makes more sense. I seriously had to add only two words in the first chapter to fix it. Ridiculous on my part. Anyway, here it is and again, I apologize! Thanks for making it clear that something wasn't right!*
> 
> You can also read this story on tumblr: liusaidh-writing.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks to my beta @faithperry46. You're wonderful!
> 
> Enjoy!

Claire chuckled to herself, hearing the vacuum come on downstairs again. Every morning, without fail, the older lady who lived downstairs turned it on...to hoover her back patio. Living on the first floor, she was granted a small back garden - one Claire was envious of. Though she didn't think she'd do much but sweep her patio with a broom. 

Claire pushed open her kitchen window and held her breath, wondering if he'd be here at his window today. Claire figured this was her favorite way to start her days: a small chat with her mysterious, yet lovely -and stupidly handsome,- neighbor, Jamie. 

Claire hid a grin when she spotted his curly auburn hair. 

"Poor woman. Shall we buy her a broom for Christmas?" He joked, greeting Claire with his unassuming smile. He gave her a wink - if it  
could be called that, seeing as he couldn't wink correctly but instead closed both eyes in a humorous attempt. 

Claire smiled properly this time, calling to him as she rested her elbows on the window sill. 

"She's going to break that thing soon enough. I'll get the dustpan if you'll get the broom?" she offered with a laugh. It was only May, but who was Claire to say it was too early to start Christmas shopping? Especially if she could do it with Jamie.

"It's a deal. We can present it to her together." Jamie smiled at her, and Claire pretended there was a bug on her face before excusing herself. 

"I've got to run just now, but we can work out the details later. See you soon!" 

She shut her window as she heard him respond with a friendly 'Have a good day, Claire!' 

She didn't truly need to be anywhere for another half hour - her shift at the hospital started an hour from now, but she just couldn't talk to him for long. She'd get all flustered, and was terrified she'd say something completely stupid and ruin what they had. Claire had never met the man in the flesh, but she was completely enamored with him...or his face rather, since that was all she could see from her window.  
She loved his stupid wink, his big smile that nearly met his slanted eyes as he greeted her when they saw one another. She had no idea if he lived alone, but she was certain that someone that handsome had to have a girlfriend at the very least. Or a boyfriend, perhaps. He certainly had no need of anything more from her than a quick morning chat... or else it would've happened already - that's what she told herself six months into their weird connection. Her erratic schedule at the hospital kept her from seeing him every morning and explained why they'd never met in person. 

Their relationship never ventured much further than chatting about their mutual source of amusement: their elderly neighbor with the hoovering obsession. They chatted here and there about happenings in their respective days: 'You got a haircut!' She'd say, noticing his hair was slightly shorter. He'd nod, pretend to preen, and run his hands through his hair with a laugh. 

He had no idea what that did to Claire. She was sure her cheeks went pink whenever he was even slightly flirty. She'd lose the ability to concentrate, to speak, so she'd excuse herself in some clumsy way and go about her day with him swimming around in her imagination. She'd fantasize about knocking on his door, asking him for coffee, laughing over a shared joke that didn't have to do with their neighbor, Jamie kissing her dumb as his hands roamed her back for her bra strap... 

Sometimes she got carried away.  
\---  
Claire got to work, noticing that her favorite co-worker, Lesley, was already there. Claire saw Lesley's toddler's car seat in the back, knowing it hadn't been a fun morning at her house. Lesley had a two-year-old son named Harry who Claire enjoyed, but Lesley's ex-husband Frank wasn't always in a helpful mood. So, this morning -like a lot of mornings,- the two-year-old was brought to the hospital child care center instead of staying home with his father. 

Claire sighed, shaking her head on Lesley’s behalf. Claire remembered when she’d gotten married to Frank and when she’d had her son - Lesley had thought she had it all. "But look," Claire thought, "it all fell apart at her feet shortly after it began." 

"I’m better off by myself. Only me to worry about.” It was her mantra of sorts, and Claire had convinced herself it was true. 

She got to her floor, put her stuff in her locker, and slowly shuffled to her station as she wondered what her day would bring. Lesley was there, as expected, riffling through some files as she smiled at Claire in greeting. Lesley was slightly shorter than Claire, with medium-length blonde hair Claire was sure wasn’t entirely natural. Lesley’s down-to-earth demeanor and penchant for keeping Claire grounded in reality was, unbeknownst to Claire, her saving grace during the work day, and though Lesley had had a rough go of it with Frank, she remained, for the most part upbeat - something Claire struggled with at times. Always there to lend an ear, Lesley was invaluable to Claire, and she was happy to return the favor whenever possible.

“Here you go, Lady.” Lesley said as she handed Claire a bright red folder with a name Claire couldn’t read on the side. “New admittance - a 72-year-old woman had a stroke and is in for observation.” 

Claire worked on the cardiac floor and enjoyed it... for the most part. The majority of her patients were older men and women, and she found them easy to talk to. She knew she could offer them some comfort and help during their stay. 

Grabbing the folder, she headed to her first room and started her day. 

\---

Claire’s lunch left much to be desired - leftover Chinese food that had Lesley crinkling her nose. 

“How old is that, Claire?”

“I'm not sure. A few days…” 

“It doesn’t smell right.” 

Claire watched as Lesley’s mouth formed a frown. Lesley had her own lunch - a fresh salad with grilled chicken and cashews. 

“We can’t all be chefs, Lesley,” Claire said as she took a bite of her Kung Pao chicken. She made a face, struggling to swallow. Perhaps she should’ve thrown it out - but it was all she’d had to bring today.

“You live alone, Claire - you can cook all you want! I have to make my lunches once Harry has gone down for the night. After folding all of the laundry and scarfing down what’s left of dinner.” Lesley took a bite of her salad and chewed slowly as Claire shook her head. 

“I don’t know how you do it,” she said quietly, pushing her fried rice around with her fork. “I could cook, I suppose,” she continued, thinking about the ingredients in her refrigerator. Those consisted of a block of parmesan cheese, a bottle of orange juice, and a small pint of milk. “I could make...well, not much at the moment, but…” Claire, wanting to change the subject from her nonexistent domesticity, decided to bring up Jamie.

“I think he must have a girlfriend,” Claire said, deciding to throw her lunch out and buy some peanut butter crackers from the vending machine. As she fished for some coins in her purse, she continued. “I mean, he’s gorgeous...surely he’s taken. You know I have no luck, Lesley.” 

“Well, Claire,” Lesley began, sounding unsure about her next statement. “Do you...try?” 

Grabbing her crackers from the slot at the bottom of the vending machine, Claire whirled around, brows knitted and mouth in a scowl. 

“I do try,” she said, opening the crackers and stuffing one in her mouth. “I just figure he’s not worth my time,” she mumbled, spraying crumbs over her shirt. She brushed them off, shrugging. 

Lesley rolled her eyes, then set them on Claire, giving her a pitying, yet frustrated look. “You don’t know anything, Jon Snow.”

“It’s ‘You know nothing…’” Claire corrected, ignoring her comment. “Look how it worked out with Frank. You’re not exactly a great example of romance gone right.” Claire felt somewhat guilty when she saw Lesley’s face fall for a second, but the conversation was cut short by the clock. Time to get back to work.

“Just give it a go, Claire - the worst that could happen is that he is involved with someone else. You don’t know unless you ask.” Lesley gave her parting advice before they headed out of the lunchroom. 

Claire believed that the idea of knocking on his door and asking him about his relationship status was a little too much to ask of her. She’d talked to him - flirted even, and still...nothing. Nothing good could come of her asking him out, she decided. Only mortal embarrassment, and the unfortunate circumstance of having to live under someone who’d turned her down. No, thank you. 

Claire managed to push down all her thoughts about Jamie and get through her shift, and was relieved to plop down on the bus seat that would take her home.

Getting home, she eyed Jamie’s door, craning her neck in the stairwell to get a glimpse of the bright red door identical to her own, except he lived at 3C, she at 2C. 

"No sign of life," she sighed, hitching her purse and bag higher up her shoulder as she made her way to her flat. Her phone buzzed as she went in, tossing her bags on the entry table and reaching to dig into the depths of her purse for the offending object. She didn’t want to answer it, but she saw it was Lesley, so she swiped up, putting it to her ear with some trepidation.

"Please don’t ask me to babysit. Please, please," she begged silently as she heard Lesley begin to talk. She didn’t not like Harry. He was an adorable child and didn’t cause much trouble when he was here, but she had been looking forward to a much-needed day off work, and babysitting a toddler hadn’t been at the top of her agenda.

"…so anyway, I know it’s your day off,” Lesley said, and Claire groaned inwardly, covering the phone with her left hand. “But I’m just stuck, and I thought...maybe you’d help me out?” 

Claire gave a pained smile, even though Lesley couldn’t see her, rubbing her hand through her hair as she sighed. 

“Sure, Lesley, you know I will. It’s no trouble. Just drop him by in the morning.” 

Claire hung up, trying not to feel irritated by the prospect of watching a two-year-old all day. She had no plans, really, except to vegetate in front of the television, devouring Netflix true crime shows. But it sounded so good. Pizza delivery, maybe pull out her untouched bottle of whisky from some Christmas past...

"Oh well, she thought, I’ll just get through it. I’ll have another day off eventually." She thought. It then registered that she was due to work some night shifts coming up. "Oh... fun," she groaned to her empty apartment. 

Claire glanced at her ceiling when she heard footsteps upstairs. Jamie was home. What was he doing tonight, she wondered. Was his girlfriend over? Did he have a date, or was he, too, looking at an evening of solitary drinking?

Claire nearly jumped out of her skin when her doorbell rang. She shuffled to the door, warily looking through the peephole. She wasn’t in the mood for visitors. 

Puzzled, she saw a young teenager standing there holding a plastic bag, marked with a local restaurant’s logo. He wore a bright red hat, had more zits than craters on the moon, and he bore a scowl. Slowly, Claire opened the door, knowing she hadn’t ordered anything.

“Did you order this, lady?” the kid spat, holding the bag out to her, desperate to unload his delivery and get out of there. 

“Er...no...What’s the address?” 

“I don’t know, It’s smudged. I’m just...working my way around.” The kid shrugged, still holding out the bag.

“Well...I didn’t order it. Sorry. Try upstairs. Above me, perhaps? I know my neighbor just got home.” 

The kid sighed, drawing the bag away from Claire. He didn’t say anything, but slowly turned around and, swinging the bag around in a wide arc, growled as he started to make his way up the stairway. Claire waited at her door, hearing the delivery attempt upstairs. 

Hearing Jamie’s voice, she put her face in her palm, frustrated with herself. She could’ve made that delivery. She could’ve been standing in front of him now, complete with food. They could’ve eaten dinner together, watched a movie, somehow become entangled on his bed… 

Shut up, Beauchamp! 

She grabbed her phone, dialed to order a pizza, and slumped on the couch, resigned to her fate as a spinster, alone in front of Murder by Numbers for yet another evening. She folded her arms, brows knit, imagining Jamie upstairs with the girl he definitely had over. Why couldn’t she be hopelessly in love with someone at work, someone she saw every day? Someone she’d seen the bottom half of? That would make it easier. She always imagined Jamie as being about her height, but she could tell just from what she’d seen of his arms that he worked out. When he wore the sleeveless t-shirts, she always marveled at his biceps and had recurring dreams about them draped around her waist. 

She also knew he was a Scot, a transplant from somewhere north. She wondered if he ever wore a kilt because she figured she’d pay good money to see it. Oh, she was pathetic, she knew, but she didn’t care when she was alone in her thoughts. She wondered if it would do her good to get a cat. Perhaps then she wouldn’t do so much daydreaming. Surely it wasn’t healthy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babysitting and some coffee...or tea, in Claire's case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @faithperry46 for being a great beta!
> 
> Enjoy!

The next morning, she prepared her flat for little Harry to come over and was pleased with herself when she had several activities planned instead of just winging it like she normally did. She’d pulled out some old crayons and paper, some stacking blocks she kept around for his visits, and had even run to the store at the crack of dawn to get some toddler-friendly snacks. 

Harry arrived with a flourish, Lesley rushing in and out, trying to get to work on time. They bid her goodbye and Claire urged Harry to start with the blocks since she’d just heard the lady downstairs start up her hoover. 

Was he there this morning? Again, she went to her kitchen window, pushed it open, and peeked above her to see his face, his glorious, stupid face with his big grin. Oh boy, she thought, there are kids present. She forced her mind to remain on neutral, stable ground, as she waved up to him. 

“Morning, Claire,” he called down. 

Was he a morning person, Claire wondered, or did he like to stay up late? Well, he always seemed happy when they chatted, anyway.

Claire waved up to him. “You haven’t gotten that broom yet, have you? I saw one that would be perfect for her and I thought we could oof-!” she was cut off by a shove from a two-year-old. 

“Auntie Claire, I wanna see!” He held his arms up, begging her to pick him up so he could see out the window, too. The little boy looked up at Jamie, and in typical toddler fashion, bluntly asked, “Who are you?”

Jamie smiled, hiding a laugh, and responded, “I’m Jamie, your Auntie’s friend.”

They were friends? Claire looked away, into her kitchen, and felt a blush creep up her cheeks. She heard him continue talking to Harry as every bit of her was tingly and her breath came faster. She didn’t dare look him in the eye. Suddenly she heard, “Can you come to play?” come out of Harry’s mouth.

“I don’t think Jamie...I’m sure he’s quite busy…” she trailed off, glancing up, yet still avoiding his eyes. Oh God, they were friends, and this little boy was inviting him. Down! Her heart was jumping out of her chest now, and she frantically looked around at the mess in the kitchen - not to mention Harry’s toys all over the living room. His mother had kindly brought a giant sack of toys for him to play with, and they’d been promptly dumped out by the toddler the second he’d come in. 

“Claire...do you mind? I’d hate to let him down,” Jamie said, smiling at them both with his billion-watt smile and Claire knew she could do nothing but say yes. “The place is a mess…” she trailed off as she fidgeted with her hair tie, wondering if she needed to check herself in the mirror before he made it here. 

Jamie told Harry that he’d ‘be right there!’ and disappeared from the window. 

Claire thought she might faint on the spot, but took a deep breath, and put Harry back down on the ground. He sprinted to the door and waited, while Claire re-tied her wild hair and smoothed her sweater. She closed the window and frantically threw her dirty breakfast dish in the sink. "God, my bed isn’t made," she thought, before deciding to just close that door altogether. He shouldn’t see her bedroom, anyway. Too intimate. Claire was briefly thankful that he wasn’t a pop star, because she was sure she would’ve plastered his face all over her walls had she been a 14-year-old girl, which she was not. "Pull it together, Beauchamp. He’s coming to play with a two-year-old, not with you." she admonished as she heard his knock at her door. 

“Oh God,” she squeaked, as Harry struggled to open the door.

“Auntie Claaaaire!” he cried, looking at her with a pained expression. 

“Okay, I’m coming,” she said, padding to the door and turning the knob.

There he was. Jamie - his whole body this time. Claire’s eyes swept over him, in his dark blue t-shirt and worn jeans. Yeah... he definitely worked out. His red hair was tied back at the nape of his neck, some of it already loose, hanging around his face. His eyes were blue opals, and Claire couldn’t avert her eyes. He was perfect. 

“Hi...I hope it’s okay - I just couldn’t turn this little guy down…” he said by way of greeting, gesturing to Harry who jumped up and down on his tiptoes. He grabbed Jamie’s hand and pulled him to the pile of toys in the middle of Claire’s living room before Claire could respond. She closed the door and whirled around, watching them, sitting on the floor and digging through toys, Harry chanting ‘trains!’ all the while. 

“I...guess we’re playing trains!” Claire said with a shrug, as she sat a good, respectable, six feet from Jamie on the floor. 

Jamie found some pieces of track and began building one, while Claire found the engine, making sure it didn’t need batteries, and handed it to Harry who squealed and began running the train along the floor while Jamie continued with track-building. 

“They don’t make this easy…” Jamie said as he fiddled with two pieces of track, his tongue sticking out in concentration. Claire watched his face, his dark red eyebrows crumpled together, and wondered how she could go about talking to him when every time she thought about it her stomach dropped and her mouth went dry. She cleared her throat, her breath catching, causing her to cough. 

“S--Sorry, I didn’t even offer anything to drink...would you care for anything, Jamie?” She stood up, as gracefully as possible, narrowly avoiding falling into him altogether as her knee gave out at the worst possible moment, causing her to have to catch herself on the television stand that wasn’t the strongest piece of furniture she owned. It wobbled a little bit, and Claire felt a hand on her elbow, fire spreading through her arm and into the pit of her stomach, as Jamie jumped up to help her.

“Are ye all right, lass?” Jamie asked as Claire straightened herself, face on fire. She looked down at the floor, mumbled a response, and scurried off to the kitchen.

She slapped her hands down on the counter and took a deep breath. Well, she nearly broke her neck, the television, and made a fool of herself. Wonderful. This was all going swimmingly! She groaned, making her way to the cabinet for a couple of glasses to fill with water from the sink. She hadn’t even waited to hear what Jamie wanted to drink. All she had was water from the sink, so she filled the glasses and made her way back to the living room, silently praying not to fall again. Claire sat back down, this time creating even more space between them than before. She was woozy after their hands had brushed one another as she handed him the glass of water, and she made her hand into a fist, reveling in the feeling of his skin against hers for as long as it would last. 

He and Harry were enjoying themselves, watching the train, now on a proper track, chugging along as Harry laid down on the floor to watch the wheels roll by. Jamie took a sip of his water, lifting his glass in Claire’s direction.

“Thanks. Putting the track together was thirsty work,” he joked, smiling as Harry began to run around the track to follow the train. “Do you keep him often? I keep my nieces and nephews from time to time, though not as often as I’d like, truthfully.” He looked genuinely disappointed about this, as Claire wondered how many he had. “I’m no great with bairns but I love being around them, all the same.” 

“Harry is my best friend’s son - her name is Lesley - we work together. Her regular sitter fell through today, and today is a day off for me so...here we are.” She lifted her hands in a shrug, gesturing to Harry, who had grabbed the television remote and was furiously smashing the buttons. 

“Tee-bee?” he said loudly, holding the remote out to Jamie. 

“Does he watch...er...tee-bee?” Jamie asked, deferring to Claire. 

“Sometimes. Buddy, why don’t we find something else to play with? The TV is broken…” Claire said as Harry’s face fell, the little white lie going over his head. 

The day wore on, Claire and Jamie chatting here and there while keeping the toddler in their care happy. It was exhausting, yet Claire felt exhilarated by Jamie’s presence. The ‘what-if’ scenarios swarmed in her head all day. The two-year-old had worn himself out at around 1 o'clock. He couldn’t keep his eyes open and passed out for a nap, leaving Jamie and Claire alone. 

Alone.

Claire awkwardly came out of her bedroom after placing Harry in her bed. Jamie was sitting on her couch, tapping the fingers of his right hand on the cushion next to him. He had his phone in his left hand, his brow knit with what appeared to be concern. Claire cleared her throat, announcing her return, and Jamie looked up. His face lit up, he put his phone down and ran his hand over his face. 

“Ah...I hope I haven’t overstayed my welcome, Sassenach.”

“Sassenach?”

Jamie looked startled for a second, then recovered. “Aye, sorry - it’s...it’s what I call you….in my head.” 

“In your head?” Claire was amused, and a little surprised. Did he think of her? 

Jamie looked sheepish, but Claire laughed, putting him at ease. 

“It’s okay, I’m honored to be...in your mind,” she said, walking over to the couch, rather happy with herself. She took a seat, still leaving that space between them.

“Sorry, I don’t have a nickname for you,” she said, still beaming. 

“Jamie is just fine, Claire.” 

He picked up his phone again as it buzzed next to him. He ran his hand over his forehead again and sighed. “I think...I think I have to go, Sassenach,” he said, looking over at her, his eyes despondent. 

“Oh, okay - thank you for coming to play with Harry today. I know he enjoyed it.” 

I enjoyed it, too, she thought. 

Jamie stood up, shuffling to the door in the regretful, slow way. He had stuffed his hands in his pockets, and when he reached the door, he turned, smiling. 

“Would you like to go for coffee or something sometime?” he spat out quickly.

Claire was caught off guard as she stood up. He was...asking her on a date? Maybe it wasn’t a date, her mind told her, her eyes darting everywhere but at Jamie. 

“If you’re not--” Jamie began, but Claire cut him off.

“No, I--I’d love to! Really!” 

Claire’s hands were sweating now. She ran them up and down her jeans in a nervous fashion, her eyes finally meeting his. She walked to grab her phone off the coffee table and handed it to him. 

“Here, put your number in here. It’ll be...good to have, anyway. Just in case- I mean, we are neighbors.” 

Jamie entered his telephone number and handed it back to her with a grin. 

“Well, I must go now,” he said as he felt another buzz from his phone in his pocket. “They won’t leave me be.” 

Claire wondered who they were, but didn’t pry. She held her phone tightly in one hand and moved to hold the door open with the other. 

“I’ll see you soon, Sassenach.” 

“Bye, Jamie.” 

With the door closed, Claire all but floated to the couch, sat down, and opened her phone. She stared at it - his fingers had danced across her screen, deftly typing away. She was rather envious of the screen and clicked to open her contacts and found his entry. 

His name was...in her phone. She could call him up, could text him. But what would she say? Well, she had to give him her number, no doubt. She quickly opened a new message and typed.

Thanks again for today. It was fun. Coffee would be perf--

She erased that last bit. 

Thanks again for today. It was fun.

That would do. Wait, she hadn’t put her name. It could be from anyone. 

Thanks again for today. It was fun. - Sassenach

There. Perfect. It was enough. Send.

She heard Harry squirming in the bedroom and went in to check on him, still soaring. She decided to teach Harry how to skip. 

***

Going to bed, after saying goodbye to Harry and having her dinner of leftover pizza, she laid her phone on the bedside table. Claire jumped a mile into the air when it played its melody. She had a text! Grabbing the phone, her face split into a grin.

Jamie: Aye, Sassenach - I had fun, too :-)

He’d even included a smiley face emoticon. Claire imitated its face, wide eyes, and immovable smile. 

Claire: Shall we have our coffee tomorrow? My shift begins at 8 tomorrow night…

She worried her thumb over her phone, before closing her eyes and hitting send. Maybe she sounded too eager, but she didn’t care. She was eager. It had been his idea, after all. Claire waited, picking at her nails, the dry skin around her fingers from all the handwashing she did at work. She'll have to do something about that. "Feels like sandpaper," she thought, cringing at the idea of Jamie being revolted at the sight. She clenched her fists and held her breath until the reply came. 

Jamie: Yes, sounds perfect. I will be home by then. I’ll knock on your door around 6?

God, they’d only have two hours. That was enough time, right? Well, for coffee, it was more than enough time. How much coffee did she need to drink? She thought she’d drink an entire five-gallon bucket of coffee if it meant sitting next to Jamie for longer than two hours. Well, she’d have to make the best of it. Perhaps it would make her night at work seem more pleasant. Start her night off on a good note. No... a great note. 

She smiled, texted back that it would be perfect, and called it a night. She slept restlessly, dreaming of large hands and blue eyes, warm and inviting. 

\----

Claire rushed around the next day - even though she knew she had to work that night. Despite her best efforts, sleep evaded her. She wasn’t hungry for all the excitement pulsing through her since the day before. What would she wear? What would she order? She hadn’t even thought to pick a place? Well, the one around the corner would do fine, she thought. It was cozy, with a fire going most nights. She couldn’t keep her mind jumping around, and all the while she kept repeating to herself: "I have a date. With Jamie. Tonight!" She picked out a pair of her nicer jeans - ones without holes, a dark blue sweater with a floral stitch around the collar, and her black flats. She pinned her hair up, then decided against it - it wasn’t raining, so she’d be okay letting it go natural this time. She packed her work bag, including scrubs to change into, and then sat and waited. 

It was only four in the afternoon. He wouldn’t be here for two hours. "How pathetic, Beauchamp," she thought, turning on the television, staring at the screen but not absorbing anything she saw. Her knee kept bouncing as anticipated his arrival. 

She didn’t realize she’d nodded off until she heard the doorbell ringing. 

“Wha…?” She jumped off the couch, wiping the drool off her cheek, startled to see it was shortly past six in the evening. Good lord, it was Jamie! Her hair, which had before been somewhat tamed, was wild and uncontrollable as she tried to smooth it down. She walked briskly to the door, feeling like a skittish deer as she rubbed her eyes, leaving her vision slightly blurry. She opened the door, taking a deep breath, and there he was - at her door for the second time in as many days. Jamie. 

“Hi! Come in- or..should we just go? I’m not sure we have much time…” she rambled, he laughed. 

“It’s okay, let’s just go - it’s nice out. I thought we could go to Perry’s, around the corner?”

“Ah, yes, that sounds lovely.” She grabbed her keys and her bags, closing the door behind her with a thud. 

Claire was surprised when Jamie took her work bag from her, slinging the long strap over his shoulder. 

“So, what do you like to get at Perry’s, Sassenach?” Jamie asked, beginning with safe small talk. 

“Ah, well, I’m not a big fan of coffee, but I love their tea, and their chocolate chip muffins are delicious!” Claire, not having eaten anything all day, suddenly got her appetite back, and hoped Jamie hadn’t noticed that her stomach had growled as she’d thought about the muffins.

“Hungry?” he chuckled, adding that he, too, was fond of the muffins.

Shoot, he’d noticed.

“It’s weird transitioning from day to night shift. I don’t know when to sleep or to eat. It’s confusing for a bit until I get settled. Then it’s time to change again. I can’t wait until I’ve been there longer - I’ll have more say in when I get scheduled.” 

She’d only been at the hospital for a few months, starting as an assistant at a medical office before deciding to take the job at the hospital. She enjoyed the environment more, and it was faster paced; it suited her. 

They were halfway to the coffee shop now, brushing against one another periodically, covering Claire’s entire body with goosebumps.

“That does sound rough. I work similarly - though nothing like you’re doing. I work at my Da’s farm - up north. My sister oversees things, lives there full-time. I decided to live here in the city and go to school. She calls me up periodically to help out.” 

Jamie caught Claire’s elbow as he guided her around the corner, into the shop’s door. Claire shivered as they went in, though it was as warm as she knew it would be, with the roaring fire in the hearth, and luckily, two oversized leather armchairs waiting for them. She guided them over, set her purse down, picking the one to the right. Jamie placed her work bag gingerly on the floor next to his chair and gestured toward the counter.

“Shall I order for us? What will ye have?” 

“Oh, I’ll pay for mine.” Claire protested, putting her hands out to get her purse. 

“No, I’ll not hear it. I asked you out, remember?” Jamie said, making his way to the counter, wallet in hand. “Tell me what you want, or I’ll order you black coffee,” he said jokingly, ignoring Claire’s sputtering. 

“Um, I’ll have the muffin and...a chai latte,” she said, giving up and letting him pay. 

“Chocolate chip, correct?” he asked, nodding to the server. “Go have a seat, Sassenach. I’ll get it.”

Claire slinked away, quietly reveling in his chivalry. She sat in her armchair, gazing at him as he stood at the counter. His deep green sweater complemented his coloring beautifully, and she loved how his jeans hugged his hips so perfectly. His hair was, like the day before, tied loosely at his neck, the curls finding their way out here and there. He wore a brown belt of worn leather and black boots on his feet. He was, Claire thought, exquisite. 

She relished in the warmth of the fire, the goosebumps still prickling her skin. She watched him as he returned with their drinks and her muffin. He had indeed gotten a black coffee and a tea for her. She took the cup from him with a grateful smile, and sat back, taking a slow sip of the warm chai. It was spiced perfectly and warmed her to her toes. 

He sat, the leather chair squeaking slightly as he chuckled.

“It was the chair, I promise,” he chuckled, taking a sip of his drink then remembering something. “Oh! To our wee night out, Sassenach,” he said, holding his cup up for a toast. Claire laughed, holding hers up to his as they tapped the cups together. 

“I haven’t done anything like this in a long time,” said Claire, wondering if it was a mistake to admit her spinster status outright like that. 

“Can’t say I have, either,” Jamie said. “ Hasn’t been much time lately, anyway.” 

“It’s difficult juggling a career and personal life. Well, it is for me.” Claire paused, picking up her muffin, suddenly extremely hungry. She broke a bit off, offered him the bag that held the muffin. “Would you care for any?” 

“No, you eat it, I’m all right,” Jamie replied, taking another sip of his coffee. 

“I don’t know how you drink it black like that,” Claire said, grimacing, imagining the bitter taste. 

“It’s good, Claire! Have ye even tried it?” 

“I have, thank you. It was all my uncle drank when I was younger, and though it reminds me of him, I can’t drink it, myself.” Claire put another bite in her mouth before continuing, doing her best to fight the urge to talk around the food. She politely swallowed before continuing. “He raised me - my parents died when I was very young,” she said, Jamie nodding in understanding.

“My mam died when I was a child,” Jamie said, quietly, though Claire could tell he was reluctant to say more. 

“Oh... I’m so sorry,” Claire said, desperate to drive the conversation away from the subject of dead parents. “You said your father owns a farm?” 

Jamie’s eyes went darkened briefly before he nodded.

“Aye, it’s smaller than it once was - we grow vegetables and things for the small village nearby - though we also raise sheep and make our money that way. I love it, but I also like the idea of being in an office, perhaps owning my own business one day…” he trailed off, Claire impressed by his drive and ambition. 

“That sounds lovely, Jamie. I’m sure you’ll do whatever you set your mind to.”

“Tell that to my sister. She’s none so supportive - she wants me to move back to the farm, focus on that entirely. It’s an ongoing battle.” he shrugged, smiling into his near-empty coffee cup. 

They talked, the conversation flowing from family to work to movies they liked - it was easy, Claire thought, talking to Jamie. He seemed to listen, unlike some men who talked over her or dominated the conversation in other ways. She noticed she was teetering on the edge of her seat at one moment, listening to Jamie tell a story about his boyhood on the farm. It involved a cow that had gotten loose and had a fall into a pond. Claire leaned further in and realized he’d done the same - their knees almost touching. Claire had long since finished her muffin and tea, and simply couldn’t pull herself away from the timbre of his voice, and the bright gleam in his eye as he talked of things he loved. 

She sat up, though, when she’d glanced at his watch. She recklessly pulled his left hand closer to her face to get a better look at the gold hour hand. 

“Oh, fuck,” she said, stopping him mid-sentence. “I’m going to be late for work.”

Jumping out of her chair, she grabbed her purse and lunged for the work bag next to Jamie. She barely missed whacking her face on the table next to him as she snatched the bag off the ground with a great huff of breath. “I’ve been late twice this month - a third gets me a write-up. I am so sorry, Jamie, I’ve got to run.” 

“S’ok, Claire,” Jamie replied as he stood up to follow her out into the night. It had cooled significantly since their walk, and Claire shivered as she started down the sidewalk to the bus stop. “I had a good time - perhaps we can do it again?” Jamie called, his long stride keeping up with her frantic pace easily. 

“God, yes, let’s do something again soon. I loved talking with you,” she said, distractedly looking into her purse to dig for her now elusive bus pass. “Where the hell is it?”

“Here, use mine - I won’t be needing it tonight,” Jamie said, giving her his pass.

“Thank you so much, Jamie!” she gushed, watching the bus pull up. “And thank you for the coffee. Have a good night!”

“Night, Sassenach,” he said with a wave, watching Claire clamber onto the bus. 

Claire slumped into a seat near the front, heaved a deep breath, and looked out the window. He was still there, hand up in a wave. She lifted her hand as the bus started to pull away, desperate to yell at the bus driver to stop so she could jump out, continue their date. Instead, she watched as an older man sat next to her. She smiled, and settled back for the ride to the hospital. It was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire have their first kiss...!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, Chapter 3. Thank you readers for, er, reading! I hope Chapter 4 will be up by this time next week!
> 
> you can also read it on tumblr - liusaidh-writing

Claire and Jamie exchanged texts and phone calls in the following days and nights. Unable to connect in person, they did what they could to remain close. Claire's night shifts ended after a week, and she was relieved to be back in the world of daylight once again. She also hoped this meant she and Jamie could get together again. And soon. 

I'm free! Well, until my time rolls around again, anyway. Next two days off, and not a single thing planned!

She hit send with a grin and imagined what she and Jamie might do on her time off. Go to dinner? Watch a movie, preferably curled up on a couch. What movies did he like? She started compiling a list of possible options while she rode along in Lesley's car after her final night shift had ended in the early morning hours. They’d picked up a grumbly Harry at the sitters before heading to Claire’s flat.

Lesley, in the driver's seat, reached back to grab Harry's snack cup before it was flung to the floor by a frustrated toddler. The car swerved slightly as she turned back in her seat, causing Claire to gasp before Lesley set it right again. 

Lesley thrust the snack cup at Claire, snapping, "Did you not hear me? I was asking you to grab it from him! Where's your mind been these last few days, anyway?" 

Claire grasped the cup in her hands, dropping the phone in her lap. "Sorry! I just...didn't hear you! I’d rather the snack cup take the hit next time instead of us!" 

"You're sitting right next to me, and unless you've gone deaf in the last ten minutes, you're just not paying attention," Lesley said in a sing-songy voice, ignoring Claire’s comment regarding her driving, but making an obvious effort to keep her tone light. She sighed, flipping the wipers on to clear the windshield of mist. It was annoyingly rainy, only a mere drizzle, but oddly cold for a spring morning. "Feels like winter outside, does it not," she remarked, attempting to change the subject. 

"Yep...pretty cold." 

Claire's mind wandered back to Jamie in the sweater he'd worn on their date. It had looked so cozy, and Claire wondered how it would feel on her. She blinked rapidly, forcing herself back to the present.

"So, you had been telling me earlier about...custody?" 

Lesley sighed, grudgingly answering Claire's question. 

"Yes...I told you everything, but you were off in lala land half the time. Not surprised you don't remember. If you're here with me now, I'll tell you again."

"Yes, please, I'm really listening." Claire shoved her phone between her leg and the seat, hoping that having it out of sight would help her stay focused on what her friend was saying. 

"Well, Frank has decided he wants full custody of Harry. Make me some kind of weekend Mum." Lesley gritted her teeth thinking about the very idea of it. "Like he's capable of taking him on full time," she said, gesturing at Harry in the back, who'd fallen asleep. “He wouldn’t last an hour before he was calling me, begging for help.”

"He doesn't have grounds, surely! He can't just...make stuff up!" Claire was indignant, knowing how great of a mother Lesley was, and how perfectly lousy Frank was at everything from keeping Harry fed when he had him to keeping promises to Lesley about drop off times. 

Lesley shook her head and rested her left elbow on the car door as they sat at a stoplight. "It's absolutely insane. He thinks because he makes more money that he should have Harry. That my schedule at the hospital isn't 'suitable for a toddler.’ He's just making sure I waste my money on legal fees fighting him instead of spending it on taking care of Harry so I'll look bad," she finished, glancing at Claire with an incredulous expression. 

"Well, you know I'll do anything to help, Lesley!" 

They had reached Claire's building, and as Claire got out she reached back and lightly ruffled Harry's hair, giving Lesley a smile and thanked her for the ride. She grabbed her things and headed to her door, feeling her phone signal that she had a text message as she walked. She quickly unlocked her door, slung them to the floor and hungrily unlocked her phone to see a message from Jamie waiting to be read.

Good to hear, Sassenach. I suppose you’ll need to go home and sleep. How about I come by later this evening? 

Claire quickly sent a reply and beamed at...well, no-one. She locked her door and dreamily waltzed to the shower, eager to strip off her scrubs and wash the night away.

“Jamie and I are hanging out tonight!” she squealed, raising her arms in victory over her head. She gave a little twirl as she moved past her bedroom. Taking off her top, she flung it on her bed. Claire felt like a teenager - she was sure her cheeks were pink and her mind raced with all the possibilities of the evening. She nearly replied to Jamie that she didn’t need to sleep, but...that wasn’t true. She was dead on her feet and her shift last night had been especially brutal with several stressful patients. She sighed, realizing she deeply regretted not having made the effort to really meet Jamie earlier. Why had she wasted so much time? Now that they were friendly, she couldn’t seem to get him out of her mind. Lesley hadn’t been wrong when she’d said Claire had been in la-la land. She reminded herself to thank Lesley for saving her ass more than once at work in the past week. If it wasn’t Jamie’s calls or texts, it was her own imagination getting her in trouble. Over the phone, Jamie had told her all about his family, his nieces and nephews and sister. He had a best friend named Ian, who happened to be his brother-in-law. And a father he clearly cared a lot about. Claire had never known that sort of reality, growing up as she had. She revelled in Jamie’s stories of his boyhood, clinging to bits of him that he unknowingly exposed.

For instance, Claire was sure that Jamie was secretly in love with his father’s farm, though he had claimed he didn’t care to run things when the time came, that he’d gotten his flat in the city to escape that reality. He talked of it with such pride, and Claire wondered why he didn’t live there full time, as much as he was there. It held fond memories of his mother, and it was his connection to his extended family, and she knew family meant a lot to him. 

She couldn’t exactly relate - though she had loved her uncle a great deal - but it was almost surreal hearing about hectic holidays or birthday celebrations Jamie got to experience growing up. Claire was rather envious at times. Her holidays usually involved Uncle Lamb flat-out forgetting them, and though he always remembered her birthday, he wasn’t the greatest at remembering to mark the date in any meaningful way other than a sweet ‘Happy Birthday, darling,’ and a pat on the cheek. She quickly made a mental note to ask Jamie about his birthday sometime. 

Pulling back the shower curtain, she sighed as the steamy hot water washed away the night at the hospital; it succeeded in making her drowsy enough to fall quickly asleep. 

\---

Claire woke to a rather loud knock at her door. She rolled out of bed, hair all akimbo, eyes squinting as she opened her room darkening curtains. Padding towards the door, she quickly wrapped herself in the throw from the couch before turning the knob. There stood Jamie, a slight smile on his face that immediately fell when he caught sight of her. 

"Oh God--"   
"I'm sorry--" 

They both spoke at the same time, Claire wrapping the blanket more securely around her shoulders. She had shorts and a small tee-shirt on, but no bra. She began to speak again, wondering if she looked as horrible as she feared. Jamie grimaced and took a breath. 

"I am so sorry, I didn't wake you did I?" 

"Oh, no. It's fine, really! I must look frightening..." Claire carefully took one arm out of her wrap and tried to smooth her hair in an attempt to calm her curls. 

"NO! You look...stunning!" His eyes were wide, as though he’d seen a ghost.

"Oh, God no. Would you like to...?" 

She gestured him inside, and quickly caught that he was holding a few things in his hands. A wad of blankets and a small thermal lunch bag were clutched in his arms as he shuffled inside. 

"Let me just...go change. Have a seat, will you?" She moved towards her bedroom as she watched Jamie sit on her sofa, placing his things on the cushion beside him.   
She closed her bedroom door, tossed the throw on her bed and leaned heavily against the door, her head making a distinct thumping sound as it hit. "Ow..." she muttered. "Hope he didn't hear that..." 

She was jittery and her mouth was dry. He had that effect on her - one she couldn't put into words. Her stomach was consumed by a swarm of butterflies as she got dressed, brushing her teeth and washing her face. She raised her arms over her head checking her armpits for odor, and swiped on some deodorant, finishing with a quick spray of her favorite perfume with a flourish. She didn’t dare go back out there smelling like a hospital. She wasn’t entirely trusting of the shower she’d taken.

Taking a few deep, but not-so-calming breaths, she went back out to her living room, where Jamie waited patiently, thumbing through a magazine on her coffee table. 

“I’m all for color in a room, but this shade of green makes me think of vomit.” Jamie was pointing at a photo of a painted room in some home decor article, curling his lip up in disgust at said shade of green.

He smiled at Claire, dropping the magazine and taking her in slowly, his eyes large and bright. 

Claire looked down at her outfit - Jeans and a warm, deep red top. She’d been told it ‘brought out her eyes’, whatever the hell that meant, so she figured it was a good choice. She smoothed her shirt down and gestured at the magazine.

“Well, we don’t have to worry about that - I asked if I could paint when I moved in and was told no. Can’t wait to be able to live somewhere without blank white walls.” She waved haphazardly around the room, devoid of artwork, save for several of her own photos from various trips, and a few of Uncle Lamb, of course.

“It’s good to see you again, Claire.” Jamie stood up, moving towards her with his hand out. She wasn’t sure what he was going for, so she moved with him, meeting him in the middle. He clasped her hand in his, and they both paused for a moment, Claire watching his eyes dance as he gazed at her. He gave a small smile with one corner of his mouth, and quickly kissed her cheek. 

“It’s good to see you again, too,” Claire sighed, her breath coming out in spurts. She felt him relinquish her hand, and she glanced at it, half expecting it to be bright red the way it radiated his lingering warmth. He stepped back just a bit, and gestured to the items he’d brought with him.

“It’s a little wet outside, but there’s a free concert at the park. Would you like to come? If you don’t want to sit on the ground, I have chairs.” He raked a hand through his hair and tapped the fingers of his right hand against his thigh. He hadn’t taken his eyes off her.

Jamie’s voice was shaky with nerves, and Claire quickly tried to put him at ease.

“I don’t mind the ground!” She figured Jamie could offer her spikes to sit on and she’d accept them if that meant he’d be there, too. “Let’s go, it’ll be fun!” 

Jamie nodded, picking up the blanket and lunch bag. “Brought some goodies for us to snack on, too.” 

“Oh, good. I’m starving! Haven’t eaten all day!” 

Claire grabbed her purse as they walked to the door together, slinging it over her shoulder and grabbing her keys from the counter. She didn’t know what kind of music would be playing at this concert, but she didn’t care in the slightest. She was also rather eager to find out what was in that lunch bag. Her stomach gurgled, and she made a face as Jamie hid a smile.

He took her hand again, pulling her toward the door and out into the damp night. It was about 7 in the evening, and though the days were getting longer, the rain clouds obscured any remaining sunlight. 

\-----

Having picked the driest bit of ground he could, Jamie spread out one warm wool blanket, gesturing for Claire to take a seat while he unfolded the other one. It was as large as the one they sat on, and doubly thick. Claire shivered slightly as she watched him swirl the blanket around her shoulders. He sat down next to her - quite closely, so she could feel the heat coming off him, and he wrapped the other half of the blanket around his own shoulders, meeting the two ends in the middle between them. It was cozy, and the band had just started. She looked around, wishing they weren’t surrounded by other people at the moment. Claire looked at Jamie - who had been casually checking out the band. He glanced at her, then reached for the lunch bag.

“What do you have for us?” Claire’s stomach growled again, and Jamie chuckled as he unzipped the bag while Claire held the blanket in place. 

“Erm...not much. Some crackers, cheese, grapes. A small bag of chips, if you’re in the mood for junk food?” He held the chips out to her and she hungrily ripped it open, popping one in her mouth with a satisfied grin. 

“Mmmm...so good. I’ve not had anything to eat since about 6 this morning. I forgot to eat when I got home from work.” Because you texted me, she added in her head, and I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep quickly so I could see you. 

Jamie went for a few grapes, munching them as he watched her devour the chips. She offered him one, holding it up to his mouth. 

“Have one!” she exclaimed, wiggling it in front of him.

He went for it, and she quickly pulled it away. She laughed as he pursed his lips in mock irritation. “Give me that,” he said, pulling her hand towards his mouth again, taking the chip between his teeth. His lips slightly brushed Claire’s finger tips, and a shiver traveled through her body as they laughed together. 

Their bodies were touching entirely now, from shoulder to toes, and Claire didn’t want to be anywhere else. She leaned against him, and he let her put her weight against his chest as he held the blanket with his left hand. His right arm wrapped around her waist. Claire felt flush, slightly feverish, silently basking in his glow. The rain was cold, the ground was colder, but she wouldn’t have known it with Jamie securely keeping them both comfortably warm. 

The band played on, the bass pulsing through her. She didn’t know the songs, but nodded her head with the beat periodically. For all the sound, though, her mind was somewhere else entirely. She wanted nothing more than to turn around, place her lips on his, and fall into him. She glanced at the people around her again, most of them chit-chatting, drinking, or eating. She felt him squirm slightly, and glanced back at him as best she could in her position. She felt his arm leave her side, make its way up her arm to her shoulder, and then into her hair. He played with her curls as he stretched one long leg out in front of them, where his boot got wet with rain. Claire’s hands were in her lap - she was entirely unsure what she should do with them, so she clutched her middle as the swarm of butterflies (more like angry hornets, if she was honest with herself) engulfed her middle. Her eyes fluttered closed as Jamie continued twirling her curls around his finger.

“Hey, Sassenach, are you thirsty? I could go get us some drinks at the food cart?” Jamie gestured with his head, back behind them where beer and soda was sold at an exorbitant price. 

Claire turned slightly and looked at him, his brows raised in question.

She took a breath, swallowing all her fear and uncertainty. The hornets in her stomach faded to a dull ache as she turned some more, raising her hands to his face. She’d caught him off guard, and as her lips enveloped his own, he was still for a split second before deepening the kiss with his hand still in her hair, clutching her curls now, tugging slightly. Claire breathed in deeply, the noises of the band and people around them fading into oblivion, a fuzzy mirage at the corner of her vision as she closed her eyes, unwilling to break their connection. His tongue danced with hers briefly before he pulled away. Claire, with her eyes still closed, felt him rubbing her cheek with his thumb. 

“Oi, if we wanted to see that, we’d have gone to see a movie!” 

Claire’s eyes snapped open, her head whirling around to her right searching for the person that matched the voice. A young teenage boy smirked in their direction, sniggering a bit as she eyed him. He held a full pint of beer in one hand, and cocked his head, daring her to say something in return.

“He’ll break up with ya tomorrow,” the boy said, laughing with his mates, one of them slapping him on the shoulder in congratulations for his stupendous observation. Claire’s brow knit in confusion.

“Why don’t you-” she was cut off by Jamie, who stood up quickly, pulling the blanket that was around them up into a ball. He put it down, and stretched his arms over his head, making himself appear even larger. The kid with the beer blanched, spilling a bit in his lap as he involuntarily jerked away at Jamie’s stone cold glare. 

“Come on, Sassenach. Let’s go…” He gathered up the lunch bag, and offered her his hand. She took it, letting him pull her up. She was shivering now, his warmth having left her. She moved so he could pick up the other blanket, and they slowly picked their way through the crowd. 

Claire was surprised to feel her chin trembling a bit. Was she going to...cry? God, not now, she thought. How silly. It had just been a kid trying to stir up trouble for a laugh. It wasn’t funny, though, Claire thought angrily. It made her feel ashamed, but for what? She’d simply kissed Jamie. She held her breath for a moment, as she wondered if Jamie had minded that she’d done that - in the middle of the park, surrounded by people. She let her breath out again as she felt him grab her elbow and tug her closer. Perhaps he hadn’t minded afterall. He wasn’t making excuses to leave, anyway, she thought with some relief. 

She felt Jamie put her hand through the crook of his elbow as he guided her back towards their building. She still shivered, and Jamie pulled her in, their shoes meeting the pavement in unison. 

“Don’t worry about him, Sassenach.” 

Claire looked up when he spoke, gave a small smile, and leaned her head against his shoulder. 

“It’s ok…” she mumbled, wondering what the rest of the night would hold. She’d be up all night now, and didn’t particularly want her time with Jamie to come to an end. 

“How about we get that full meal in you? You must still be hungry,” Jamie offered. “Let me drop these things by my flat and we’ll go, yeah?” 

Claire nodded. “Sounds good, Jamie.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire and Jamie continue their date night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @faithperry46 for being a wonderful beta reader!  
> You can also check out my tumblr: liusaidh-writing.tumblr.com

Claire clung to Jamie’s arm as they strolled around their neighborhood after a good meal and little bit of heavy flirting on both their parts. They’d had a couple drinks between them, and Claire was feeling light-headed and slightly silly.

“What’s the worst thing you ever did in school, Jamie?” Claire laughed quietly as they dodged a large rain puddle, Jamie tugging her with him, pulling them ever closer together. Their feet haphazardly hit one another as they stumbled, Claire burying her face in his arm to attempt to regain some composure.

“Well..I’ll have to think about that one, Sassenach,” Jamie responded, drawing out his words in a teasing tone.

“Were you that badly behaved?”

“No...no...it’s just, I’m not sure which story you’d like to hear more. I like to hear you laugh. How about you, Claire - what’s your story?”

“Um, well, at Uni, in the dorms, there was a girl whose parents had, for whatever reason, paid extra so their daughter could have a room to herself.” Claire paused, wondering if he’d find her tale amusing or boring. She gritted her teeth, daring herself to get on with it.

“And…” Jamie prodded.

“And...she had a highly illegal pet rabbit in her room. She was a bit strange, to be honest, a bit of an outcast…” She paused again, eyeing Jamie’s reaction as he found out she was basically admitting to bullying a girl.

“Anyway, so, the girls and I, one night, were gossiping - as girls do, you know - and this particular girl and her rabbit came up in conversation. She was always prattling on about this rabbit of hers, and it could get annoying. I mean, the school had to have known, so why was she getting away with it? So, we girls decided to sneak into her room and…”

Jamie was grinning ear to ear, eager to hear the climax of her story.

“Please tell me you didn’t harm any animals, Sassenach,” he said with mock sincerity. He knit his brow and jokingly gave her a stern look.

“Ahem, no, I am no bunny murderer. We just went into her room while she was away - no one locked their doors - and....took the rabbit.”

Jamie’s mouth was agape and Claire spat out a shameful giggle as she recalled how the girl had found them with the poor rabbit - cage and all - just a few minutes after they’d gotten it into Claire’s room.

“Thankfully we all had a good laugh about it, no arm done. Now, your turn. Go on.” She nudged him playfully with her body, knocking him slightly off balance.

“I had no idea you’re a bunny stealer, Sassenach! I don’t know what to think of you now.”

Jamie shook his head in admonishment, then laughed. He stole a quick kiss, pecking Claire on the mouth. She pressed her lips together, savoring any little bit of him she could claim as her own, and again nudged him to tell his story.

“Why are you looking at me, Sassenach? I never got into trouble at all!”

“I don’t believe you. I just admitted to grand theft! Well, maybe it wasn’t grand, but...you can’t leave me dangling out here on the bad girl branch all by myself!”

“Bad girl, is it?” Jamie stopped abruptly wrapping her in his arms, kissing her deeply. Claire parted her lips, inviting him further. Their bodies aligned, Claire’s arms were buried deep in his jacket, wrapped around his waist as she clung to his shirt. Her knees were shaking, and she leaned in, breathing all of him in. The sounds and street lights around them all but disappeared as Claire felt herself pulled further into the deep.

Parting, they were both breathless. Claire noticed Jamie’s eyes danced with amusement, their blue color reflecting the neon of the shop signs nearby.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do that,” she said in a whisper, surprising even herself.

Jamie dipped his head to catch her lips in his once more, quickly this time.

“As long as I have, perhaps?” he asked, one side of his mouth going up in a wistful smile. They began walking again, and Jamie nodded in the direction of their building. “Let’s head home. It’s getting pretty late, anyway.” Noticing that they were the only ones out, Claire enjoyed the relative silence of the night, only the occasional dog bark or car passing by broke the magic. It had stopped raining, and the lighthearted conversation had done a lot for her nerves.

She let him pull her along, not wanting him to see her face as she absorbed the word ‘home’. She had a vision of their clothes, mingling in one closet; their bed, duvet twisted and smelling of sex; two glasses of ignored scotch sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch, where they lay tangled, choosing foreplay over alcohol. She shivered involuntarily, finding his hand and grasping it tightly. She briefly wondered why this, with Jamie, felt so natural, so right. She’d seen him just three times now outside of their window chats, and she felt like they’d been like this forever. It was as if she’d found solid ground with him, something true, and she hadn’t realized just how much she needed him. She’d been adrift her whole life, come to think of it, floating around with her Uncle Lamb. Campsites, hotels, temporary lodgings in one foreign country or another. Taught by tutors, she’d never attended traditional school until she decided to go into nursing. She didn’t regret her childhood, but she knew Jamie had a family, had roots. She liked the idea of finally having roots, even tangentially, through him.

“Erm, I’d invite you inside, Sassenach, but I’m afraid you’d be bombarded by an interrogation of sorts. My nephew is staying with me at the moment. I-”

“Oh, your nephew? He’s alone right now?”

“Yes, he’s 19 - perfectly capable on his own, except when my sister decides he’s gone and gotten into trouble. I get the task of straightening him out. Or something. I don’t know how much I help, but I try.”

“That’s nice of you. I’m sure he appreciates it.”

“Well, he appreciates the ability to escape home once in a while, anyway.”

“Well, we can just go to mine then. I don’t live far away,” Claire joked. “I think I may even have some whisky stored away somewhere.” She rubbed her chin, trying to picture where that dusty bottle was hiding. It had been a gift from Uncle Lamb one Christmas, and she’d never had the occasion to open it. Why not now?

\-----

Sipping her drink, Claire watched Jamie, his strong jaw clenching slightly with each sip. She watched his movements as he set the glass down on the side table, careful not to make any noise. They’d both been rather quiet, like the night was made of glass, and neither of them wanted to shatter it.

Claire watched as Jamie took a slow sip of his drink, savoring the flavor. She watched as his tongue darted out past his lips, only briefly; she found herself mesmerized by his movements, even down to the way he kept tapping one finger on the glass as he held it in his hand. Claire knew she felt awkward and gangly, unsure of what to do with her arms, her hands, her legs. She felt like she saw some of that in him, too.

She took a fortifying sip of her own drink, and then set it down on the table in front of them. With a clink, the glass hit the hard wood table top, breaking the silent reverie.

“So...I must say, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a, er, date up here.”

She wasn’t sure why she was bringing up past lovers - she certainly didn’t want to get into a conversation about it with him, but she wanted to say something.

“I’m afraid my flat is entirely female free. I’m no good at this, myself.”

“No good? I’m enjoying myself, if it makes you feel better. I could turn on a movie? Or some music?” She ran a hand through her hair, trying to decide which option would be better, when she felt him grasp her wrist and pull it away from her face. He kissed the inside of her wrist, sending shivers down Claire’s spine.

“Well, I suppose we don’t need music…” she trailed off, lulled into a calm by Jamie’s soft touch on her delicate skin. He moved closer, and she felt his leg meet her own on the couch. He leaned in while she was looking down and they cracked heads, both jumping back slightly, holding their heads.

Claire laughed easily, some of the tension broken.

“See? I told you..” Jamie remarked, rubbing his forehead.

Claire, trying her luck, leaned towards him this time, catching his mouth with her lips, the kiss quickly evolving into a more desperate one as Jamie pulled her onto his lap. His hands were in her hair, and she quickly pulled one of his arms down to the hem of her shirt, inviting him to touch her bare skin. The heat of his hand was a warm balm, juxtaposed with the goosebumps that formed along her torso. He, at first, spread his palm along her back, stroking up and down, their lips still fiercely together, neither of them willing to part.

Jamie began trying to undo her bra, and Claire groaned, frustrated at the one she’d chosen. It was a difficult one to unclasp for whatever reason. As he struggled, Claire sat up and reached behind her, awkwardly getting it undone for him.

“Damn thing, sorry,” she whispered, and she decided to discard with her bra and sweater all at once, leaving her vulnerable slightly shivering in the cool air. Jamie pulled her back down, wanting her mouth on his again, and he kissed her deeply while he grasped one breast in his hand, bringing his fingertips to her hard nipple. Claire immediately wanted more, as she felt the tell-tale heat pool between her legs.

“Can we go to the bedroom?” She mumbled, reluctantly pulling away from him once more, yet eager to get more comfortable. Jamie tugged at her legs, and Claire straddled him before he lifted her, her legs wrapping around his waist as he stood. Their denim pants were an irritating barrier, and Claire rocked against his hips as he walked, keeping her lips on his neck, just below his ear. He didn’t stumble, easily making his way to her bedroom, where he gently laid her back on her pillows and followed her down.

Claire immediately went to the button of her pants, unclasping it, her zipper following suit. Jamie lifted his hips as she wriggled out of her pants, and he pulled them down and off her ankles. Pulling his shirt over his head, Claire gave a small gasp as their torsos met, bare skin on bare skin. It was nearly enough to send her to the edge, but she fought against it as she fumbled with the button on his jeans. She was still in her knickers - thin cotton with small rosebuds - and after Jamie had discarded his pants, she felt his fingers glide to her inner thigh. Tickling up to the edge of her panties, he hooked a finger around one side and pulled them down, leaving Claire entirely naked.

She watched as he took her in; his eyes shone brightly, arms trembling as he lifted one hand and, licking his lips with a hard swallow, he let one finger make its way slowly down her torso, past her navel. His finger found the hard bud of her clitoris as he began making circles, driving Claire entirely out of her mind all at once. Her hips jerked involuntarily, and she lifted her head slightly and eyed his cock, still encased in his briefs.

“Not yet. Let me touch you, too,” she breathed, reaching between them to put her hand into his waistband, grasping his cock. She felt him shudder as his lips found hers again. She quickly tore off his last bit of clothing and stroked him briefly before pulling him down, placing him between her open legs.

“You sure?” he whispered, settling into his position as she lifted her hips slightly in invitation. Biting his lip, he kissed her once, moaning slightly into her mouth as their bodies trembled in want.

Claire could only nod her head before reaching down and helping him to enter her, the creak of the bed making Claire smile slightly as she felt him begin to thrust his hips, slowly at first. She savored the friction, and let a hand dance in his hair as she kissed him deeply, her other hand making its way between them to touch herself, intensifying her pleasure. She watched as Jamie’s eyes shut, his forehead against hers as he began to go faster, and as her eyes fluttered closed, the spark that had been dancing between them for the last couple weeks grew into a flame, engulfing them both in one breath.

Claire grasped the duvet, riding the waves for as long as she could as Jamie’s hips jerked, his lips crashing into hers once more. She almost immediately wanted more, but allowed him to clamber off and lay to her side to catch his breath, her heart hammering.

She looked over at him, smiling. It had been rather short, but she hadn’t wanted to wait any longer. Still trembling, she leaned into him, her head on his chest. She figured they had all the time in the world now to perfect, to experiment, to feel that again, and again. She smiled again, her face buried under his chin. Jamie brought his arms around her, but kept quiet. She could feel his heart beat beneath her cheek, and revelled in its steady thumps. She barely noticed as her eyes fluttered shut, his pulse lulling her to sleep.

She dreamed of tangled blankets and Jamie’s rough hands roaming her body.

\----

Claire woke with a sharp jerk. Light was streaming in, her curtains open to the morning outside. She squinted at the light, feeling slightly like a vampire, and clambered out from the covers. Noticing Jamie’s absence, she smiled, and throwing a shirt over her head, she headed from her bedroom, expecting to find him there.

Instead, she was greeted with the still artifacts of her life - the couch, their glasses still on the coffee table; her small dining table and four chairs, and the kitchen - empty and unused, as usual. She paused, standing still, then walked back through her bedroom to the washroom. That, too, was empty.

She looked around her room for some sign, some proof that last night had, in fact, happened. She could feel the pleasurable ache still lingering between her legs, and she knew, deep down, that she’d not dreamt it. But where was he?

She grabbed her phone, checking for messages. Nothing.

Walking to the kitchen counter, she finally saw a hastily scribbled note in Jamie’s messy hand.

_Claire,_   
_I had to leave._   
_I’m sorry._   
_Will talk soon._   
_xx, Jamie_

Claire’s jaw dropped, the letter fluttering from between her fingers. She quickly ran, threw on some pants, and dashed out her door barefoot. The cold morning air turned her blood to ice as she dashed up the stairs to his front door. She knocked, thinking surely that he’d be there. That perhaps he simply had to work this morning, or had to check on his nephew.

There was no answer, and Claire, hugging herself in the cold, slowly ambled back to her apartment, confused and shivering. She grabbed her phone again, dialing Jamie’s mobile. She held it to her ear, hearing the incessant ringing as she got no answer.

She looked at the phone, puzzled, and if she was being honest, a bit hurt.

Had she done something last night? Oh God, she thought with horror, had she drooled on him, talked in her sleep, kicked him?

She sat on the couch, unable to figure out what to do. Emptiness crept in, and she felt tears stinging her eyes as she fought back, unwilling to cave to her own misery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. More to come, I promise.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire has dinner with Lesley and Harry, and then goes back to her flat, pondering about Jamie's absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a baby chapter, but I promise Chapter 6 will be here in less than a week, provided nothing goes wrong! 
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr: liusaidh-writing.tumblr.com
> 
> Again, thanks to @faithperry46 for being a fantastic beta!

Claire slumped in her chair, holding her chin in her hand as Harry slammed the toy cannon down on his high chair. It was a brilliant idea, Claire though glumly, to give children weapons at the dinner table. She’d already been pinged twice by the small foam ball that shot out of one end. Thankfully, it had rolled off the table, lost to the sea of chairs and tables around them, after the second shot bounced off Claire’s forehead. Harry had screamed briefly, before deciding that it was even more fun to make an entire restaurant wince as they watched him slam the cannon down, complete with sound effects bursting from his mouth: “Bang! Boom!” 

“Claire, do try to enjoy yourself!” Lesley begged, patting Claire’s hand from across the table as they watched a grown man in a pirate costume dance around, complete with a fake peg leg. 

At the behest of Lesley, Claire had ventured out of her flat after a day spent in bed, wallowing, attempting to ring Jamie with no luck. She ignored Lesley’s calls for as long as possible, until Harry popped up on Facetime, begging ‘Auntie Cwaire’ to come with them to eat. 

Now, Claire sat in front of a mountain of shellfish she was expected to consume, yet she wasn’t hungry at all. 

“I’m sorry, I’m just...I’m just not feeling all that well.” She hadn’t told Lesley about Jamie. She found that she was a bit embarrassed by it all, like she’d done something wrong. Yet, she also didn’t want Lelsey to say anything negative about Jamie. Not yet, anyway. Claire wasn’t yet angry enough to want to badmouth him to anyone. So, she kept quiet while nibbling on something from her plate. 

“Harry, do you want Auntie Claire to take you to the playground?”

“Yes!” the little boy exclaimed. He’d been eyeing the restaurant’s play area since they’d arrived, though Claire had not been prepared to be offered up as a sacrificial lamb. 

“I’d...really rather not, Lesley. Look at it, it’s a madhouse! Kids all over the place…” Claire groaned, covering her face with her hands. 

“Oh, come on. Up you get. It would make him so happy!” 

“He’d be a great deal happier if it was his own mother over there with him,” Claire snapped, irritated by Lesley’s insistence. 

Lesley’s eyes flew wide, her brow down in confusion. 

“What’s gotten into you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Claire responded, choosing to avoid Lesley’s eyes by peeking at her phone. She wasn’t expecting anything, and she wasn’t wrong. Her phone’s clock told her it was getting close to Harry’s bedtime, and she hoped this dinner would end soon.   
“Oh! How did your date with your Jamie fella go last night? Can’t believe I forgot to ask!” 

Claire rubbed her face with one hand, steeling herself for a conversation she wasn’t ready to have. 

“It was...okay. We went to the park, had a few drinks over dinner.” Claire shrugged, unwilling to go any further with the details.

“Did he kiss ya?” 

“Oh please stop.”

“Why? What in the world happened? You’ve been acting strange all night. Did you not enjoy yourself, then?”

“I did,” Claire said slowly, “but, from what I understand, he didn’t.” 

“What makes you say that?” Lesley asked, shocked at Claire’s attitude. “You’re a fun girl, I’m sure that wasn’t what happened.” 

“Well….he left abruptly, leaving a small note, and I haven’t heard from him all day, so…” 

“Didn’t even say goodbye?” 

“I was...asleep.” Claire bit her tongue, careful of what she divulged with Harry sitting right there. 

“Ooooh, I see.” Lesley nodded with understanding, glancing at Harry who was still staring at the ball pit and slide. Claire watched as Lesley’s mind searched for something to say in response. She only came up with, “Would you like some ice cream?” 

Claire laughed in spite of herself, covering her mouth as unexpected tears filled her eyes. “Well, as long as it’ll get me out of...that.” She pointed at the play area. 

“Come on, Harry, up for an ice cream?” Lesley pulled Harry out of his chair, and thankfully, they all exited the restaurant, Claire sighing with relief. 

\---------

Next day, Claire hoped to wake to a missed call, or message from Jamie, but her phone was again silent. She decided to devote her day to chores around her flat, finally cleaning up the drink glasses the two of them had left two nights previous. 

She washed her bedsheets, mopped the kitchen floor, and vacuumed the carpets twice over. She threw out the rest of the whisky, pouring it down the drain with a satisfying gurgle. Throwing the glass bottle in the recycling bin, she spotted Jamie note on the counter, right where she’d dropped it. Staring at it for a minute, she resolved to get rid of that, too. Erasing that night completely seemed like a good idea. Tearing it up into little pieces, she threw it in the rubbish bin, watching it stick to the plastic liner. She felt some relief, but knew Jamie would never leave her mind, no matter what physical actions she took. 

She’d found his white undershirt earlier, shoved underneath her duvet as she’d made her bed. She’d taken it out and tossed it across a chair in her bedroom, and she knew she couldn’t destroy that. She pondered putting it in her closet, but couldn’t bring herself to hide it out of sight. If she hid it, she reasoned, she’d forget to return it when she saw him again. 

If. If she saw him. 

Now, she was sitting in a spotless flat, with nothing else to do but kill time until bed. She flipped channels on the television, unable to find anything that held her interest longer than five minutes. She flipped through a few magazines, landing on that room painting article Jamie had commented on days before. She smiled, wondering what color he’d choose to paint his flat if he could. 

Green, she decided - he looked like a forest green type of person - bring the outside in. She wouldn’t mind that, herself, she thought. Glancing around, her eyes drifted to the ceiling, where she’d usually hear Jamie’s footfalls. It had been silent though, since that night, when they’d both heard his nephew scurrying around doing whatever. 

Her eyes fell back to the rug, and she slumped over, arms on her knees as she thought. “I just want to know what I did,” she said to herself. She had run the night over in her head a million times, unable to come up with anything. She’d been herself, and if Jamie had a problem with that, then, well - good riddance? She wondered briefly if perhaps it wasn’t her that made him leave. She’d apparently slept so hard, maybe he’d gotten a phone call, perhaps his nephew had called him back to his own flat for whatever reason. Had his sister called him to the family farm? She threw her hands up in defeat, unable to come to an answer that was satisfactory. 

Picking up her mobile, she ordered food in and laid on the couch, determined not to think about Jamie for the rest of the night. She’d be at work tomorrow, and her mind would be occupied with all kinds of things. The idea of it soothed her, and she suddenly could wait to be back at the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Claire goes on a blind date to attempt to get over Jamie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long-ish wait for this chapter. Hope you all enjoy it!   
> You can also check me out on tumblr: liusaidh-writing.tumblr.com

Claire worked nearly nonstop all that week, gladly drowning in it to keep her mind off Jamie and where he’d gone. She did obsess over her phone here and there, and tried to call him once or twice (okay, three times), but only reached his voicemail. She never got the nerve up to leave a message, though sometimes she was tempted. 

When a much-needed day off arrived, she agreed to watch Harry as she wasn’t too keen on sitting in her apartment, wondering. In the morning, after picking up the little boy at his father’s house, she took him to the park, where he chased birds, jumped in several muddy puddles, and generally ran amok, leaving Claire to chase after him. 

Towards the end of the day, the two of them sat on a bench near Claire’s building, licking ice cream cones; Harry had dribbles of chocolate falling down his chin, and Claire quickly swiped at his face as he dodged out of the way. 

“Blue hair, see it?” he said, slanting his shrinking cone of ice cream in the general direction of a young man passing both of them quickly, apparently in a hurry to get somewhere. Claire glanced his way, noticing his lanky form and bright blue spikes sticking straight up, unmoving as he briskly made his way down the path. 

“Yeah. He does,” Claire halfheartedly responded, taking another swipe at the boy’s chin before giving up as it was now falling into his lap. 

“What will your mother say when we see her? She’ll say ‘Oh, Harry, you’re a mess!’” 

Harry laughed at this idea, and Claire smiled, shaking her head as she took the last bite of her own cone before the two made their way to the nearest bus stop, where they’d catch the bus to the hospital to meet Lesley after her shift ended. 

\----------

“I’ve got an idea for you, Claire,” Lesley started as they walked to her car. “I’m not sure if you’ll go for it, but I know you’ve been down about your Jamie all week…” She paused, glancing at Claire. 

“Go on…” Claire said nervously, opening the car door and plopping down into her seat, half dreading to hear what Lesley would propose. Lesley got Harry situated in his seat, then got in herself, starting the car. Claire looked at her, eyebrows raised, steeling herself for whatever it was. 

“I know a man-”

“Oh, oh no. No no no. Absolutely not.” 

Lesley lightly hit the steering wheel in frustration, letting out a huff of air and rolling her eyes at Claire.

“Will you let me finish? Please? He’s handsome, he’s a doctor-”

“At our hospital? No way. No. Fucking. Way.” 

“No! Well, yes. Sort of. He’s here in a consulting position. He’s in conference rooms all day, you’ll never see him at work!” 

Claire narrowed her eyes at her friend, eager to end the car ride and be home. 

“Come oooon, Claire. It’ll do you so much good! You’ve not been yourself - and you know it.” Lesley gave her a pointed look.”

“Watch the road,” Claire spat, “and what do you mean, ‘not myself’? I’m fine!” 

Claire folded her arms in defiance, entirely ready to end the conversation then and there. But, unfortunately for her, Lesley was in charge of the car and she kept on.

“Oh, please. You’re constantly checking your phone, you never answer when I call you...is that because you’re afraid he’ll ring at the same time and you’ll miss him? You need to let it go. Shit happens. You can’t wallow forever.” 

Claire, pouting a bit like Harry, looked out the window as the city whizzed by, the sun setting on the horizon. She clutched the aforementioned phone in her hand. Part of her knew Lesley was right, and part of her didn’t want to give up on Jamie. Still hugging herself tightly, she let out a sigh, a ragged, defeated breath.

“But...it was perfect,” she whispered. “It was different. I don’t know what I’m saying, really, but it was like...I’d been off kilter all my life and then, there he was - he made it all right. I’ve been lonely, you know? I wanted him to become part of my life, I wanted to be a part of his life. And, I suppose I stupidly thought he wanted that, too.” 

She felt Lesley’s hand on her arm, and all she could think was that she wished it was Jamie’s hand there instead. It made her feel rather pathetic. She gave her head a little shake to clear it, and her eyes focused again on the world outside the window. 

“I know, love, but it’s been a week or so - and I know that doesn’t sound like much, but surely he would have contacted you by now…” 

“Ugh,” was all Claire could say in return, and she lessened her grip on her phone, wondering if Lesley was right. Perhaps she was hanging on to nothing, maybe it had all been an illusion - maybe she’d imagined that pull of gravity when he was around. 

“Fine,” Claire moaned grudgingly, “tell me about this...doctor you know of. What’s he like?”

Lesley quickly clapped before grasping the wheel again, and grinned at Claire.

“Well, he’s got a cropped haircut, it’s dark, and he’s got some delicious stubble on his chin. He’s, well, I’ve only seen him in a lab coat, but I reckon he’s in good shape. He’s got this thousand watt smile that’ll turn your knees into jello…” 

“So...why don’t you ask him out yourself?” 

“Can’t,” she shrugged. “It’ll just give Frank more ammunition. Besides. I’m not the one drowning in sorrow over some guy I went out with a couple times. You need this more than I do.”

“I’m not...drowning,” Claire huffed, feeling rather indignant. “Fine, I’ll go on a date with this guy. But only lunch, no dinner - it’s too full of expectations. What’s his name, anyway?”

“His name is Doctor Ben Carson. You’ll love him! I’ll talk to him tomorrow and text you the details! Oh, you’re going to have fun, I know it!” 

\----------

Lesley worked fast, and Claire had a text from her a few afternoons later with a meeting time and place for this blind date. The phrase made her cringe. She’d not slept well the night before after agreeing to go, and had almost backed out of it completely several times. But then she’d look over at Jamie’s shirt - still hanging over the chair - and her cheeks would go hot, and the small bit of determination to get over Jamie would resurface and she’d talk herself back into it.

She was, thankfully, off the day of the lunch date, and she spent the morning getting ready. Her nerves were making her jittery, but not in the good way she’d experienced with Jamie. She was anxious about this whole business of meeting another man, and she’d much prefer having met this Doctor Carson on her own, but Lesley had been trying to help, so she went with it. Taking a deep breath in front of her mirror, Claire smoothed her hair and headed for the door. 

“Here goes nothing,” she thought, making the short walk to the sandwich shop where, presumably, her date would be waiting. Scattered with small tables and chairs, with bright blue curtains in the window, the shop was welcoming, and the smells emanating from the doorway were enough to make Claire’s stomach growl.

He sat facing the door, his head bent over his phone as he waited. Claire nervously licked her lips and walked up to the table. She had to clear her throat to get his attention.

“Are you, er...Doctor Carson?” She felt weird addressing him this way, but she didn’t want to be rude - some people were weird about their titles.

His head snapped up, and she was met with a big grin, and that stubble Lesley had gone on about. His eyes were a dark brown, and they wrinkled slightly in the corners when he smiled up at her. 

“Yes, please call me Ben, I’m just catching up on some football news.” He sat back down, gesturing for Claire to do the same. “I already ordered for us - I hope that’s okay.” 

Claire was surprised, wishing he’d let her peruse the menu, at least. ‘Oh well,’ she thought, ‘he seems friendly enough - I’m sure he was intending to be polite.’

“How...is your day going so far?” Claire watched - his head had fallen back down to his phone, where an article about the Premier League was open. 

“What? Oh! It’s been fine, pretty unremarkable.” 

Claire’s eyes darted around as his head bent back over to his phone. She didn’t quite know how to react, and she wondered what she should say next. 

“What are you reading there?” She figured this was good - engage him in what he was clearly interested in. His head snapped up again, the same smile plastered on his face. 

“Oh, I’m reading about Man City’s latest win - seems they’re unstoppable…” he shook his head in dismay, and went back to the article. 

“Oh. Erm - they’re not your team, then?” 

“No...no, not at all.” He didn’t bother to elaborate and Claire was already bored of this topic, so she tried for something else, something that was of a more immediate concern.

“What exactly did you order?” She was hungry, had purposely not had that snack she’d wanted in the morning in anticipation of - if anything else out of this date - a good sandwich.

“Just a couple of mixed green salads,” he responded, not even bothering to look up this time. 

Claire forced herself not to roll her eyes as her stomach rumbled - she hoped he’d noticed, but she had a feeling he didn’t. When it seemed he was finally finished with his silly article, he slipped his phone to the other side of the table, and took a sip of his water. 

“Well, how do you like nursing?” 

Finally, some sort of conversation was starting...that didn’t revolve around sport. 

“It’s fine, I like the work. I have been toying with the idea of going back to school, though…” 

“Oh, to do what?” He folded his arms, sitting up straight and furrowing his brow as he listened. It made Claire feel a bit like a child being grilled by a parent.

“I’d like to be a surgeon,” Claire answered, watching the server bring their plates piled high with leafy greens and bright red cherry tomatoes. Claire was hungry enough that she didn’t much care at this point that she’d rather have ordered something else. She picked up her fork and began to mix the salad to her liking. She glanced up at her date - he wasn’t on the phone again, thankfully, but his brow was knit in concentration as he picked the tomatoes off his plate. 

“A surgeon?” he inquired, as his eyebrows shot up, shooting Claire a glance as he took a bite. 

“Mmhmm...I enjoy nursing, but I’d like to do more.” 

Claire took a moment to glance at her bag on the floor next to her feet. It was buzzing - or rather, her phone was. She wanted to pick it up, but decided not to stoop to this man’s level and have her phone out at the table. She brought her attention back to her date, waiting to hear his response to her revelation. She figured he’d nod, then move the conversation elsewhere. Instead, her eyes went wide as he deemed his opinion worth her time.

“You are aware of the stringent program? It would take a lot of your time up, and...” he trailed off, as though he thought he’d made a fair enough point. Claire was puzzled.

“Well I’ve done my homework, certainly. I haven’t applied anywhere yet, but hard work doesn’t scare me. What makes you think I don’t know what becoming a surgeon entails? I work with them nearly every day, after all.” 

“Oh, I only meant that you surely have other interests? I mean - you’re on a date right now; you wouldn’t have that kind of free time. Why don’t you look into something a little less...challenging?” 

Claire set her jaw, unable to believe her ears. She was suddenly entirely uninterested in her food, and she set her fork down with a clank against the plate. 

“I’ll decide for myself what to...how’d you put it...look into, thanks. And I’m set in my decision - not that I asked for your approval. You don’t even know me.” Claire was seething now, and she had half a mind to grab his phone from the table and toss it at his head. 

“I just know women, and they don’t make the best of surgeons,” he shrugged, unapologetic. 

“I’ll bet you know women. We’re done.” 

Claire stood, grabbed some bills from her purse and threw them on the table. 

“What’s your problem? I’m just trying to help you out! I know the NHS inside and out - I have connections!” Dr. Carson stood facing her, hand splayed in a defensive gesture. Claire chose not to dignify him with a response - instead she turned, walking out the door of the restaurant, unwilling to give him a second glance. She quickly found her phone and dialed Lesley. 

“Thank you. Thanks very much. Not only have I not gotten to eat lunch, I had to sit and endure a date with a...misogynistic pig!” It was difficult for her to come up with a term that would do him justice, but ‘misogynistic pig’ was just fine for the moment. Silence greeted her, and she quickly started down the sidewalk at a quick pace, her heels clicking loudly on the pavement. She nearly fell over when Lelsey began to speak.

“Oh, please - did you even try, Claire?”

She stopped in her tracks, narrowly dodging a bench so rudely placed in her way. 

“What in God’s name...has the whole world lost it? Lesley - he was an entire asshole. From the beginning, he was either on his bloody phone, or insulting my intelligence!”

“You must’ve misunderstood! Is he with you now?” 

“Fuck no, I left him back at the restaurant! And I am not going back!” 

She heard Lesley huff into her ear, a tone of impatience mingled with every word Lesley spoke. 

“You need to get over this...Jamie fellow. You were so hellbent on having him that you’re sabotaging perfectly good dates simply because they’re not him! Let it go, love!”

Claire was certain that her blood pressure had reached dangerous levels when she slumped on the now welcome bench, unable to do anything but let the words she so wanted to say mull over in her mind. She was exhausted, and was particularly sick of everyone having an opinion about her life - from her choice of boyfriend to her career - was she not in charge of any of it? She rubbed her forehead in frustration, let out a sigh, and decided that she wasn’t going to take it anymore. 

“Listen to me, Lesley. Stop telling me to ‘get over’ Jamie. Let me feel how I feel and I’ll worry about that. I do not need your help, and I certainly don’t need anymore blind dates! If I want to go home after work and be alone, fine. If I want to wish Jamie was with me, who am I hurting? Nobody - perhaps only myself, but let me do it! I’ve cried more than anyone will ever know, and that’s okay too! I’m living for no one but myself - not you and I’m sure as hell not here for Doctor Carson - who, by the way, is a bit obsessed with football!” Claire wasn’t sure how much sense she was making at this point, but it felt good to let it out. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for one more go. 

“If he doesn’t call, or write, or anything, I’ll realize that in time - but for now, just for now, I want to wait. I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, here. I’m not willing to write him off - I’m just not. It’s my fucking decision to make - not yours. And one more thing before I end this horrible call, I will not watch Harry tomorrow - I’m not a babysitter, I’m a fucking nurse. I want a day to myself, and I need you to give me that much!” 

Tears welled up now, and Claire angrily wiped them away after hitting the button to end the call. She was breathing heavily, and she quickly glanced down at her phone to make sure the call had, indeed, ended. Her phone was dark, and she threw it in her bag. Standing on slightly shaky legs, she started for home - the only place she wanted to be. She felt the rain begin to fall as she stood waiting to cross at an intersection. She threw her hands up in frustration, shaking her head at the heavens, quietly swearing at God for this loathsome day. 

By the time she reached her building, she was all but soaked. She paused under an overhang to rummage through her bag for her keys, unable to find them. 

“Where the hell are you?” she mumbled into the dark expanse of her purse, where she found a roll of lip balm, her wallet, several used tissues, and at the bottom a bright yellow bus pass. She pulled it out, shaking her head as she saw his name. 

“James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser. Who puts their whole name on a bus pass? Quite a mouthful.” The side of her mouth went up, as she remembered the night he’d given her this. She sighed, still unable to find her keys, and clutched the card as she ambled to the stairs, brushing her wet hair out of her eyes.

Making her way up to the first landing, she caught sight of a man, hidden in shadow, standing at her door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr: liusaidh-writing.tumblr.com
> 
> Dear readers: Thank you so much for reading this fairly mediocre story, and thanks especially for all the lovely comments you've left here thus far. I read each and every one, and they all make me so happy.

Claire had run through this exact scenario a million times, her imagination darting in every direction - what she’d say, what he’d say. How she’d hold her ground, stay angry and indignant, let him know how much he hurt her. Reality was...something different altogether. There he was, like he’d dropped out of the sky, all rugged and worn. He leaned against the wall, looking rather defeated as Claire came up behind him, her jaw tight, eyes still, taking in the sight of him in case he disappeared. She cleared her throat, stopping a few feet from him, and watched him whirl around in surprise. His eyes were wide, oceans of blue, slightly watery and tired.

She looked at the bus pass, still clutched between her fingers, and thrust it at him.

"I think this is yours," she muttered, willing him to take the damn thing out of her hand, but he just stood, stock still. She watched his eyes brighten slightly, though she could tell he was sleep deprived. His eyelids were heavy, and the dark circles under his eyes nearly made her ask if he'd been in a fist fight. She bit her tongue, though, unwilling to say anything else. She worried if she started, she'd never stop. 

"Claire," he started, taking a few steps toward her. "I'm....glad you're here. Was afraid you were at work." He spoke softly, clearly apprehensive about her reaction to his presence. 

"You've picked a wonderful day to show up," she said, "I've locked myself out of my flat, I'm drenched in rain, and I just had a row with my friend over a blind date she set me up on." She hoped that last bit stung just a bit, and she was certain she saw him wince slightly. 

Jamie hurriedly took off his rain jacket, tried to hand it to her. 

"I'm fine. I'll go call a locksmith and wait here." She folded her arms, still holding the bus pass he hadn't taken from her. 

"No, please. Come upstairs. You can wait there. I...I need to talk to you. Please, Sassenach." The pleading in his voice nearly broke her - as her resolve was shaky to begin with - but she glanced up briefly, before turning to watch the rain for a second. It was coming down harder now, and she really had no idea how long a locksmith would take to get there. So, she decided, she'd let him lead her up. She wanted answers, after all. 

She looked back at him, nodded, and cleared the way for him to take the lead. She wasn’t about to allow him to corner her. She wanted to be free to leave if it got to that point. She was on a roll today, and didn’t want to hear any bullshit. If he didn’t explain himself, she’d leave, and she’d never look back, no matter how difficult it was. She’d find a new flat, and hopefully no torturously handsome Scots would be living upstairs. When Jamie reached his door, he paused, unlocking it. Claire stood with her arms folded, jaw set, and she watched as he glanced back at her. She thought he looked rather defeated. He wasn’t his usual self, that was for certain. She found she rather missed his warm demeanor - the Jamie that she’d found at her door was nervous, like a cat, and she wasn’t sure what to make of him. 

He led her inside, and just as she imagined, his flat was nearly overflowing with potted plants. She wasn’t certain what some of them were, but she could see he had a certain fondness for forget-me-nots. Pots of varying sizes were on nearly every surface, and the place smelled of earth and, what Claire noticed, was Jamie’s particular scent - a mix of rain and dirt. She wondered briefly why the place appeared rather empty, apart from the plants, and a small loveseat, it was practically bare. She cocked her head, wondering why it had taken her this long to realize - he was clearly moving out, and didn’t care to part ways with her properly. He thought he could just up and leave - leave her with the cleanup, the scars, the pain. Her pulse quickened, and all the words she’d carefully planned to say to him flew out of her mind, and a whole slew of new sentences made their way to the tip of her tongue. 

“So, your plan this entire time was to...get me into bed, leave abruptly, and then make sure you never ran into me again - is that it? Of course, you’ve clearly failed at this last small detail, because here I am, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why you even bothered to bring me up here, Jamie. I would almost prefer that you’d remained gone. It would’ve been a great deal easier.” 

She gave Jamie a scowl, standing at his door, unwilling to come in any further. He’d shed his coat, and was standing by one of his many planters, a bit further inside, and the look on his face was one of absolute shock. Claire felt slight relief - perhaps she was wrong, but she held herself still, unwilling to give an inch. 

“No! No, oh God, not at all. There was never any...plan! Is that what you think?”

“I’m not really sure what to think at this point. Your small note gave no real information, and that’s all I have to go by. Well, that and your weirdly empty flat. You clearly don’t live here anymore.” She shrugged, starting to shiver with cold - her clothes were still wet from the rain, but she did her best to hide her discomfort. 

“Come in, please. I’ll get you something warm to put on.” His face etched with concern, Jamie started towards what Claire assumed was the bedroom door, but she held her hand up, stopping him mid stride. 

“I’m fine. I don’t need that from you.” She thought of his shirt still downstairs and made a mental note to toss it in the trash when she got back downstairs. She watched as Jamie slumped onto the loveseat, covering his face with his hands. She glanced around again, thinking the place right sad, devoid of any sign of life. 

“I’ve...I’ve been up at Lallybroch - our farm. You couldn’t reach me - cell service is spotty there at the best of times, but it’s been cloudy, which doesn’t help.” 

Jamie raked his hands over his face, leaving marks on his cheeks, and Claire swallowed hard, waiting for him to continue. She watched as he took a few breaths, glancing in her direction only briefly. 

“Okay, so…” Claire began, nudging him to keep talking. She was an eager listener now. “You didn’t have cell service...got it.” She was rather suspicious of this claim, but then what did she know about cell towers and Lallybroch’s actual location? She chose to give him the benefit of the doubt. Instead, she wanted to know about the night he left. “Why didn’t you wake me, before you left?” 

“Christ, I did, I swear - I kissed you three times. I was in a bit of a hurry, but you wouldn’t wake. You’d stir, I tried. I promise, I didn’t want to leave you.” He paused, catching his breath and standing up. He took a few steps forward while Claire stayed rooted to her spot near the door. “I would’ve loved to have scooped you up and taken you with me - I would have if I’d been able to. My phone had been ringing incessantly, all evening. It was my sister. Jenny? I’d ignored her calls, though. Didn’t want our night to end.” 

Claire shifted a bit, moved by this revelation.

“But..what the hell happened?”

“Jenny had been calling me because our Da … he’d passed away that afternoon. I’d missed the calls, wasn’t there like I should’ve been.” He went to lean against the back of the loveseat, some of the strength having left him. Claire, too, felt like the floor had fallen from beneath her. 

“Oh...Jamie…” Claire started, her arms unfolding, falling at her sides. She wasn't entirely sure what to do, for all her bedside manner at work. Being empathetic yet keeping at an emotional distance was easy. This was...real. Her eyes darted around, and she began to move toward Jamie, as he continued to lean over the loveseat, eyes on the floor. 

“I just didn’t want to burden you with that. You and I, we’re so new. I didn’t want to put you in the middle of all of it. I sent my nephew down to check up on you mid-week, but he said you weren’t home? You didn’t see him? Well, you wouldn’t have known if you had - you’ve never met him.”

“Why...why didn’t he call, then?” 

“He did, I gave him your number to call when he got back into town - but he said he never got an answer.” 

Claire quickly glanced at her bag, her phone inside. The calls had she let go unanswered, numbers she didn’t recognize - was that his nephew? 

“So, first chance I got, I came myself - tried to call you earlier today but didn’t get an answer, so I assumed you were at work. You showed up about the time I’d resolved to wait for you til you came back, no matter how long.” He stopped as Claire grabbed her phone from her bag, remembering the call she’d ignored on that lunch date. She’d forgotten all about it - had assumed it was Lesley. She looked at her missed calls and, yes, Jamie had called earlier. She threw the phone in the bag with an audible grumble, frustrated with herself for missing that damned call. 

“I’m sorry...about your father, Jamie.” She licked her lips, her voice shaking slightly. She wanted to say more, but didn’t know what - words failed her. She looked him in the eyes, now, knowing he was being honest, and she felt a slight pinch of guilt at being relieved. It was his father, after all, that had taken him away. Not her - she’d done nothing. 

“It’s...well, he’d been ill for a while, so it wasn’t entirely unexpected…” Jamie trailed off, rubbing a hand on the cushion of the couch. He looked at her then and Claire noticed his eyes were watery. She watched him take a deep, shaky breath, filling his cheeks with air and letting it out again. “I hope...I hope you’ll forgive me for walking out like that. I...I didn’t want to. And I’ve thought about you every day since.” His eyes reminded Claire of a small puppy, full of want.

She chewed her lip briefly, walking further into the apartment as she watched the man she cared about appear broken, hollow. When he spoke again, she paused where she was - close enough to make out the lines on his lips, but unable to touch him. 

“You thought of me?” she asked, quiet as a mouse - the air around them was delicate - she was afraid a sudden movement or loud noise would shatter them. 

Jamie nodded, standing straight again and frowning slightly.

“‘Course. I couldn’t help but think the entire ordeal would’ve been easier with you there. You’re solid, Sassenach - when I touch you, it’s like I’ve found dry land, and I’d failed to realize I’d been drowning.”

Claire stared at him, her mouth dropping open slightly as she absorbed his words. Her breath quickened, and her blood coursed through her veins with so much force she could feel it in her fingertips.

“It’s true, then? I’m...not crazy, not overthinking, not imagining this...” 

Jamie cut her off, taking a deep breath, steeling himself.

“Can I ask, Sassenach…” Jamie began, wringing his hands together nervously. 

“What?” 

“Did you feel it? When we were together, I mean...ah…” His words faltered, yet Claire knew immediately what he was talking about. Her mouth went dry. Hearing him affirm all that she’d told herself she’d imagined...he felt it too. 

She did nothing but nod, slightly moving her head, unwilling to make a sound.

“It was a bit scary...for me, I mean…” Jamie mumbled. “I didn’t know...didn’t know I’d ever feel that with someone else. Didn’t even know I was capable.” His eyes found hers, and his mouth went up in a weak smile.

“You know, you could’ve kissed me a fourth time. It might’ve worked,” she warbled, unable to keep the tears at bay. “I’m sorry I sleep like the dead…” She shrugged, then, not knowing quite what to do with herself. All was out in the open - now what were they to do?

“I’ll try again, if you like?” Jamie had come closer without her noticing, and cupped her cheek with one hand.

“It’s too late for that, is it not,” she laughed, but leaned into him anyway, catching his lips in her own. His stubble scratched her skin pink as they stood in the middle of Jamie’s flat. Claire would’ve sworn then that she felt the earth pivot, just slightly, on its axis - all things returned to their correct positions. Her hands had found their way into his hair, and she realized she was still wet from the rain. He hugged her tightly, breaking the kiss to offer her dry clothes again. 

“I..suppose I need to call a locksmith…” she said reluctantly, as Jamie released her to find clothes in his bedroom. 

After a quick search, she found someone, called, and was told they’d be there in twenty minutes to open her door. Jamie came back with a pair of jogging pants and a red flannel shirt, shrugging as he handed them to her.

“They’ll be big, of course, but they’re warmer than you are at the moment,” he said, gesturing toward his bedroom. “Go, change, I’ll keep an eye out for the locksmith.” He smiled at her, and she quickly shut the door and slipped off her wet clothes. He was right, they were big. She had to roll the joggers up several times, and the flannel shirt hung off her, making her feel like a small girl playing dress-up. She rolled the sleeves as best as she could, and buttoned it up, already warming up. She went back out to Jamie, who was out front, leaning over the rail of the building. 

Claire came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She squeezed slightly, pressing her cheek against his back. Taking a deep breath, she took him in, the dirt and rain smell mingling with the laundry scent of her clean clothes. 

“Promise me something?”

“Anything, Sassenach.”

“Don’t shut me out again. I want to be there for you, I do.” 

Jamie turned slightly, pulling her to his side, his arm around her shoulders. 

“Never,” he said simply, laying his cheek on the top of her head.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be the last chapter, but it definitely won't be. Here you go!
> 
> *** Also, there's smut in this chapter. ***  
> Please feel free to skim if you are so inclined. I can't promise it's good. :p  
> All you need to know is: They Fucked, And It Was Good.
> 
> Check me out on tumblr: liusaidh-writing.tumblr.com  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> \--------------------------

Jamie and Claire, having paid the locksmith and retrieved Claire's keys, walked together along the street where their one night together had begun over a week before. Not touching, but close enough that their arms brushed against one another occasionally, they ambled around with no particular goal in mind. Claire had eaten lunch, finally, and now she knew there was a lot that still needed to be said. 

She looked at Jamie, then at the clouds. They were still heavy with rain, but it had dissipated briefly. Jamie was in a rather sullen mood, yet she couldn't very well blame him - he'd clearly not had a great week. She nudged his arm, noticing his mind had drifted, his eyes a million miles away. 

"What are you thinking about?"

"Mmm... trying to figure this all out."

"All what out?"

Jamie took a deep breath. "I know you noticed - you said I was moving out when you saw my flat?"

Claire nodded, not sure she wanted to hear what she'd suspected already.

"I am moving out - have been for a while. We decided not long after I'd signed the lease that I'd need to move back home, look after things. But, incidentally, I started talking to my neighbor... "

"I take it you're referring to me." She smiled a little, recalling their brief interactions early on, how she'd hear the old woman's vacuum come on and rush to the window, full of hope and anticipation at catching just a glimpse of his face. 

"Popping your head out of your window, with your bonnie wee smile, I chose not to break the lease, but I hung on to it while I could spend more time here. I knew I needed you, even then."

"So you've... known for a while that it would come to this." Claire had a sinking feeling that Jamie was about to move hundreds of miles away, and he was about to end it with her. After all they'd just discussed in his flat, here he went, out of Claire's grasp again. Jamie stopped, turning her to face him.

"I know, Sassenach. I know. I'm a coward. I didn't want to face the inevitable...leaving you, not being right upstairs. Truth be told, I held onto that place longer than I should've, but I wasn't prepared to lose you."

Claire furrowed her brow, uncertain about how he meant for things to move forward.

"But...you are...now? I am so confused, Jamie," Claire spat out, throwing up her hands in frustration. "Why'd you come back? Why, knowing you were only going to leave again?"

"I never intended-" 

"I know losing your dad wasn't planned. You can't plan those things, and I'm certainly not faulting you for that - but you just said you were slowly moving stuff out before we'd even had our first date. What's that supposed to tell me?"

Jamie sighed, rubbed his eyes with his fingertips, and set his jaw. 

"I came back because I want you. I want to find a solution." Jamie paused, rubbing his jaw. "Can we go home? I think I need a drink," he said, his voice rough with fatigue. 

Previously, his use of that word - home - would've sent Claire down a rabbit hole of daydreams involving them living together, sharing a bathroom, a bed, intimate corners of space only they knew. Claire fiddled with the buttons on his shirt, absorbing his scent as she leaned into his warmth. She swallowed hard, balling the tail of his shirt into her hand. She looked up at him, watching him gaze out at the street. Taking his hand, she tugged, nodding toward 'home' - her home, not their home. 

\-------------

Standing in her flat, they faced each other, both leaning against the kitchen counter for support.Claire waited for Jamie to begin. He'd poured them both drinks from a bottle of something he had in his flat, and she hoped the alcohol would ease things a bit. Jamie took a sip, and she followed suit, the brown liquid burning the back of her throat with a pleasurable sting.

"I don't want to do it, Claire - and you have to trust me when I tell you this - but I've got to go back to Lallybroch. I can't let my sister down. I've got an obligation to her. I can't just ignore it." His eyes, full of regret, pleaded with her to understand. "You're right - I'd begun moving out when we realized how poorly Da really was, and I'm a coward for not telling you. But you and I, we..." He took another sip, searching for the right words. 

"We... took to each other?" Claire said helpfully, not really sure that was the right way to say it, but words had failed her, too. 

Jamie let his hand fall to the counter where he made light circles with his fingertips. Claire watched for a few seconds, then covered his hand with her own. 

"This feels right, Jamie." She squeezed his hand lightly, emphasizing her point. "I know you know it's true." 

Jamie only nodded, his face tight with frustration. 

Claire shrugged, one question coming to the forefront of her mind amidst all the others. 

"When will you leave again?" 

"I'll have to head back tomorrow - Da's attorney is coming to discuss things with us, regarding Da's will and all." 

"And then...?" 

"I suppose that would depend on your days off," he said, waiting for her to fill in the blanks.

The thought of him leaving tomorrow still sat in her gut like a stone. She could already imagine how hard that would be, but she comforted herself in the thought that he wouldn't disappear again, that they'd have made plans - something to look forward to among the emptiness.

Jamie's fingers found her earlobe, playfully tugging. He leaned putting his forehead against hers. She felt his hands tug at her waist as their lips met, skin against skin. The kiss was urgent, but soft, and she parted her lips, inhaling every bit of him, their breath mingling. Her chest was already heaving, want pooling between her legs. Jamie had pulled her against him, tight, secure, so that every bit of themselves coalesced. 

She grasped his shirt tail, pulling it up over his head, eager to feel his skin against her hands. She felt one of his hands under her shirt, grasping at her skin as if merely touching her wasn't enough. 

She brought her hands to the button of her jeans, undoing it, and opening the fly. She took Jamie's free hand and brought it to her middle, pushing it down lower, where her stomach quivered at his touch. He shifted his feet, still unwilling to break their kiss. Lifting the waistband of her underwear and going down lower still, he touched her, wet and hot. She moaned against his mouth as he let his fingers glide along her folds, then up to her clit. A small sound escaped her lips, and she smiled, grinding her hips against his hand. 

Jamie, still with his hand against her, turned her around so her back was against his front. The angle allowed him to run his thumb along her clit while he inserted two fingers inside her. He pushed himself against her back, burying his face in her neck as he thrust his fingers deeper. She gasped then, knowing she was close to the edge. 

"Jamie," she breathed, "I want to feel you inside me." 

She felt his cock press against her again, and she was desperate to remove some layers of clothing between them. She shuddered, an orgasm ripping through her, as Jamie hit her clit with the ideal amount of pressure. Her hands braced the counter as she let the sensation consume her. Jamie's breath was hot on her neck, and as soon as she could manage, she turned, removing his hand from its place. She grasped his bottom lip in between her teeth as she pushed her pants and underwear over her hips in one motion.

She went for his belt buckle next, the metal clanging as she watched him unbutton his jeans, his bright red briefs peeking through before he pushed them down. Claire's hand went to his cock, still in his underwear, where she felt him, hard and ready. Jamie lifted her shirt over her head, deftly removed her bra, and pulled her close. They crashed together once again, their kisses deepening as their breath became more labored. Claire had her hand between them, cupping him through his briefs. She watched as Jamie shed himself of his last bit of clothing, both of them now bared to one another. Claire felt Jamie's roaming hands cup her breasts, leaving a tingling sensation behind as he moved lower, pulling one of her legs up around his hips. 

She pulled her mouth away briefly, licking her lips, tasting him. Her mind had cruelly gone back to their conversation, making her painfully aware of the fact that what they were doing now was only making tomorrow that much more difficult. 

"Are you okay?" Jamie lowered her leg, allowing her to feel more stable. 

"Yeah," she answered, placing her hands on his chest, his skin like velvet on her fingertips. She moved them lower, to his hips, and cocked her head to the side. Leaning in, she placed her lips lightly on his collarbone. With a light kiss to his skin, she looked up, watching his face as he gazed at her, his expression patient but questioning. 

"Take me to bed?" She wanted him under the blankets, all heat and sweat, so his scent would linger on her pillows. 

Taking her face in his hands, he reverently kissed her lips, letting his hands mingle with the fine hairs at her hairline. He released her, running one hand down her arm. He took her hand, entwined their fingers, and pulled her to the bedroom.

\------

Curled up underneath her duvet, they lay facing one another, lazy kisses stolen every few minutes. Their legs were tangled together, Claire's nipples grazing the sparse red hairs that grew haphazardly on Jamie's chest. Both sated, their breathing had returned to normal, skin still hot from exertion. 

"Tell me about this...blind date, was it?" 

Claire groaned into Jamie's neck, her new favorite spot to lay her head. She pushed her hips against his, rocking a bit to feel the tingle of pleasure it afforded her. 

"It wasn't good, and it wasn't at all my idea," she said, her lips brushing lightly against Jamie's jaw as she spoke. She shivered as he ran his hand up her leg, letting it rest at her hip. 

"Why'd you go, then?" Jamie asked this without accusation in his voice, but Claire still felt her cheeks go hot as she rolled onto her back, covering her eye with one arm. 

"My friend - Lesley? She set it up. Told me I needed to get over you. He was such an ass, and I left the date early, calling her and telling her what he'd said. She didn't believe me." She shrugged her shoulders, not sure what else to say. Did he want the gory details?

Claire took a deep breath, nervous about sharing with Jamie what she’d shared with Dr. Carson. What kind of reaction would she get tonight? She gritted her teeth, determined not to let the fear stop her. 

“I told him...I told him I want to go back to school.”

She felt Jamie shift slightly, heard him scratch his stubbled cheek. 

“Yeah, so?” 

She peeked from beneath her arm and caught his eye. Confusion creased his face, and he reached to remove her arm. 

“I want to be a surgeon. This… blind date thought it was his right to give me his opinion. I certainly hadn’t asked for it.” She huffed, laying her arm back over her face, frustration filling her all over again. 

“Please tell me you threw your… chai latte or whatever on his lap?”

Claire laughed, the giggles shaking her entire body as she imagined it. 

“Ooooh, I should’ve. I only had water to drink, though. It wouldn’t have hurt nearly as much.” She felt Jamie laugh with her, and she let her arm fall again, and Jamie turned her face to his with a finger on her chin. Planting a kiss on her lips, he rolled atop her. She let her knees fall open as his hips rested against hers. His fiery hair fell over his eyes, and he brushed it off, pressing his cock against her. 

“Ah, Sassenach. Smart, ambitious, and beautiful to top it off? How’d I get so lucky?” He kissed her then, lifting his hips to guide himself inside her. 

“You opened your window at the right time, I suppose,” Claire whispered, before speaking was no longer possible.


End file.
